My mom is sick. She is, in fact, dying of cancer. Mel and I have known for a while, but we didn’t want to tell her because, well, it’s hard to tell someone, especially your mother, that they are dying of cancer.
She learned, a few days ago that not only does she have liver cancer, but that it has spread to her lungs.
I hated for her to know this. You see a long time ago, back in 1977 my brother became ill, and a year and a day later he died from cancer. (Lymphoma)
Mom took care of him all that year. Through chemotherapy and radiation. Back then, treatments were brutal and Mom watched her son suffer and then pass away.
I think this is why I really didn’t want her to know. I didn’t want her scared. I did not want her to recall those last days with my brother and then fear for herself.
But in the end, she had to be told. And maybe in some ways it is kinder. She understands the pain, and no longer allows people to put her off about getting pain relief.
(She actually had a nurse tell her that she needed to “learn to get along” with the pain pills she had! Yes, I would like to pop that woman in the nose!)
My relationship with my Mom has always been “different”. I’ve spent a large part of my life arguing with her about really stupid stuff. And now…I just don’t want the anger, I want her to be pain free.
We don’t think it will be long. She is back in the hospital right now and I am thinking she may have to go into hospice care.
She is the last of her generation. When she is gone, well, then we will be the elders of the family.
If there is one wish that I have for her, it would be this…I pray that she does not suffer, and that when she passes, all the family will be there to greet her!