I’ve been thinking the last few days that I am sinking into depression. I have not been sweeping floors, dusting shelves or mopping. I’ve just been getting by.
It started when I was diagnosed with cancer back in February, and I don’t think I have been right since.
This morning I got up and thought about the disaster in my house. So, after breakfast I vacuumed everything, mopped the wood floors and dusted.
Then I took the 12 boxes of slides and returned them to the bookcase. It was actually painful to do that, but having them in the office only served to remind me of the passing of my mother.
I water the garden, which has mostly died. I wasn’t able to keep up with it, and I maybe had two summer squash and 5 zucchini. I did have plenty of beans and pickling cucumbers. But no eggplant. The tomatoes are still coming in. So, I am hopeful for more tomatoes to make sauce with.
So I’m working really hard to get back to feeling like myself, but I realized that I will never quite be that person.
I am lucky. I still have my sister. She will now be the person I share my childhood with.