I’ve been thinking a lot about the journey I have been on since my own facial cancer surgery and the plastic surgery after. What I am about to confess here may seem stuck up, but after some real soul searching, I am only just now, starting to understand the dynamics of why I have been so shaken by all of this.
You see, back as a child and a teen I felt very confident in my body and of my appearance. As a little kid I practiced how to smile for pictures and it’s hard to find any bad pictures of me.
Of course my daughter is funny because she could always tell the real smiles from the fake ones.
When I was about 15 my grandmother took me aside.
I sure loved my Grandma Honey!
She told me that I was a beauty for sure, now, but beauty is short lived. One must work hard to be a good person, inside and out!
I didn’t really understand then, what she was saying. Certainly if one did all the right things they could keep the clock from ticking away at their looks.
No one ever told me that Mother Nature could jump in and have her way with my face, leaving me to discover, it is time to find my inner beauty.
Well, I have to tell you, it isn’t easy. Being pretty was the easy stuff. You just were. Now I am trying to figure it all out.
I’ve gone back to Weight Watchers after a catstophic weight gain last year. But I still feel bad when I look in the mirror that this unprepared woman, must find her inner beauty or forever be lost.