Thirteen Reasons Boston Driving Is Not For A Country Mouse Like Me
1. Since they are still working on “The Big Dig” everything is a mess.
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2. The signs telling you which exit to take get you in one lane and then end, not giving you enough time to actually get over to your exit.
3. Signs that just do not make sense! I wanted to scream!
4. No one actually seems to know where they are going.
5. The pot holes are literally the pits!
6. Double parking. Bad!
7. There was a policeman who followed us all over the city and I swear to God, was as lost as we were!
8. People cut you off and I wondered, do they care about their car?
9. People just walked in front of your car. (while it’s moving!)
10. Traffic going from zero to 70 mph and back to zero in the blink of an eye!
11. Street signs that are either nonexistent or really small.
12. Previously open roads, are now closed due to the “Big Dig” construction.
13. Narrow lanes due to construction. I just knew we were going to be side-swiped!
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Give me a list and I do just fine. In fact, better than fine. I can accomplish great things. Yesterday Dr. W.’s secretary gave me a list of things I would need to obtain before the surgery. At 9 AM this morning I proceeded to call the doctor who performed the original cataract surgery. I needed to obtain all my records from his office and have them faxed to Dr. W. Of course they needed me to fax them a letter of release. Within 10 minutes I had this done. Whatever did we do before fax machines? Used snail mail I guess.
The next item on my lift is a rather lengthy process of getting a first class physical with my favorite General Practitioner. However, I also need blood work and because of my advancing age, (cough, cough) I actually need an EKG! This is a first.
I arrived at my GP’s office and went up to his secretary’s window and she greeted me.
“Hi!” she said brightly.
“Hi, I’m Tricky!” I smiled and laughed.
“Well, hello Tricky how can I help you?”
She scheduled everything for me and actually had me back out the door in record time.
Then it was off for my monthly visit to the fountain of youth. After nearly 5 years of going to a hairdresser I liked personally, but kept messing up my hair, (you do all remember the ultra short cut back in February?) I have left her and found a new woman. She is a very talented person and I like her work. Still it was hard to make the change.
These fountain of youth visits are taking longer and longer as I get older and older, but I still made it home before the storms arrived.
These were the kind of thunder storms that shake your house and get the dogs looking at you with those questioning eyes that say, “Is this the end of the world?”
The storms have passed now and the sun is setting and I can put my feet up and relax. My list is completed and all I have to do now is enjoy the summer.
The details will now take care of themselves.
It was bath day for my boys today. First up was my 73 pound Fritz. Although his white coat looked clean, it didn’t exactly smell “downy fresh”! So, I locked him in the bathroom with me and forced him into the shower. I always just jump in with him, naked, because no matter what I do, or how hard I try, I am always covered in white dog fur, so I might as well not add to my discomfort with a layer of sopping wet clothes.
We have had wrestling matches in the past and today I was prepared for the worst. However, Fritz surprised me, and was such a good boy, I nearly fainted with the shock of it. The bath went so quickly, that we were done before I knew it.
Of course, I had to wash every piece of cloth in the bathroom. The rugs, the other towels, etc. all had to be laundered as they were soaked and covered with white fur, and since the floor was half wet anyway, I grabbed the bucket and mop and washed that as well.
Time for boy #2. Hubby! I wish I could say that we were the delightful young marrieds that we once were and that our shower was full of fun and frolicking, but let’s face it, he’s just had his second knee replacement, and I’d just gotten done washing a big dog. It wasn’t so much frolicking as it was wash and rest.
How do you know when you’ve been married 18 years? When you shower together and the only thing you think about is actually getting clean!
Am I disappointed by my lack of action in the tub? Not really, giving a bath is more exhausting than being an active participant.
Can someone pass the soap?
I’ve decided I have a strange sense of humor. I say this because over the weekend they had a “Blue Collar Comedy Tour” marathon on Comedy Central, and I found myself glued to the tube and laughing like a crazed woman at the jokes.
My favorite of these four comics is Bill Engvall There is something about his humor that makes me laugh so hard I fear the loss of certain bodily functions. He tours around doing work with Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy and Ron White. They’re all pretty funny, but Bill is my favorite. Possibly this is because he had both dachshunds and German shepherds like we do.
Of course the fact that in the last week I’ve been either in the hospital taking care of Hubby or at home doing the same, has probably affected my judgment, but these guys are funny!
I tried to share the “joy” with Hubby, who laughed a bit, but started to look at me with concerned eyes. He had that, “Is she losing her mind?” look on his face, as I sat there wiping tears from my eyes from the hard laughter.
It was then I decided I’d be better off leaving the “sick room” and watching Comedy Central where I wouldn’t be observed.
So am I strange or what? Who is your favorite comic?
I’m confessing. I hate ticks. Now I know that most all people dislike ticks, but I hate them. I hate them to the point that when I find one, I simply can’t stop feeling ticks crawling on me for hours. I will check myself in mirrors, in window reflections and I have been known to run in to where Hubby is watching the TV, pull up my shirt and ask, “Is that a tick”? While breaking out in a sweat.
I know, I know. This is borderline obsessive compulsive isn’t it? The only defense that I have is my irrational fear of one of those awful things chomping down on my skin and finding a big fat one stuck in my hair!
Oh the inhumanity!!!
As soon as the first tick appeared, I sent out warning e-mails to dog owners. Quick get out the tick liquid for your pets! Then the itching started. I can’t stand it. I try to keep my mind on other things and about the time that this actually starts to work, another frigging tick will appear and the madness starts all over again.
I was doing well today until I went over to read some of GoofyGirl
where she had pictures of ticks and then I read Zoot’s
posts, and she had written about ticks! This got the itching going again.
That’s when I realized that I really have a problem. It’s one thing to feel itchy when you see a tick on your animal (could there be more?), but to flip out when you read about a tick that is a thousand miles away, well that is just down right nuts!
I’m just not sure what to do. Do I try to get rid of this craziness or do I just accept that summers will be spent feeling those tiny bug feet crawling on my body?
Do they make that tick liquid that goes on the back of the neck for people?