Category: My Life

Oh sweet Mother Of God! Do I ache!

I had decided a couple of weeks ago to repaint the puppy room. It had taken a beating when the puppies owned the room, and so I wanted to clean it up and put a fresh coat of something delicious on the walls.

I selected “Cinnamon Coffee Cake” from Home Depot as the color in a nice eggshell finish. I knew it would warm the place up a little, as stark white can be a bit too bright.

Now back when Hubby and I built the house in 1998-99 I did all the painting. Inside and outside. There was no ladder that I didn’t climb and no job too big or too small. In fact I also hand dipped the 12 thousand shingles that Hubby hammered onto our house.

Now that was 9 years ago. I was about the same weight, but I was 9 years younger and well, I was 9 years YOUNGER!

In the middle of my personal painting chaos, Emily arrived with a friend and they were looking for a project. No I did not draft them to paint (although every fiber of my being craved foisting this job on them!) I had them make Brownies and Chocolate Chip cookies to bring to our shut in neighbor tomorrow. The girls had a blast making the goodies, and even though I got stuck with the clean up I felt good at helping them at the same time I was painting. These kids think I am fantastic because I make things from scratch and not slice and bake cookies, etc.

Click on the image to see the difference in color)

My little job took me all day. I still have more to do. However, I was too tired to finish it up today.

I made dinner and after I got done with that, I crawled into the bathtub and soaked for over half an hour. I came out only because I threatened to shrivel up and become one of the dancing California Raisins!

I still ache now, but will make myself an hermal tea and hope for an early bedtime tonight!

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HAIR
This is probably one theme I could write and produce page after page about. Those of you who know me know I am always worried, crazy or unsatisfied with my hair. I actually have pretty nice hair, but being the “hair perfectionist” that I am, I am seldon happy with it.

This was taken when I was 13 years old. I am with my dogs, Baby and Laurie. My hair was down to my waist and I remember it being very heavy when I swam or washed it.

When the girls were small I had shoulder length hair. It was easy and still made me look young. From there I grew it back out, and Hubby’s first memory of me was when I had waist length hair again. That did not last, as when I had my car accident I had to cut it short for the plastic surgery to repair my ear and the places that were stitched up.

I kept my hair this length for probably the last 15 years. I know, boring. But I’ve been busy. In February of 2006 I got the worst hair cut of my life. The woman left only about 1 inch of hair on my head!The only good thing about this picture was that it is the last picture taken of me with my Shubi.

I started to grow my hair that very day!
By December 2006, when the puppies came, my hair had grown out a bit.

And now, here we are in June 2007 and I can actually put my hair into a short little pig tail on the back of my head. But most of all, I look like a girl again!

And I will keep growing it for a while. I sort of like looking like a girl!

In recent days there has been quite a controversy about the release of the pictures of Princess Diana in her car after the accident. One news show gave you all the key words to use in Google to find them. Did I follow the link and go and look? Yes I did.

Why?

I asked myself this question as I stared at the photo. Because in my minds eye I could see myself.
You see 22 years ago today I was involved in a terrible car accident. I have written about it here. It’s a time of my life that I no longer dwell on (not too much anyway) but it is always with me.

Usually on June 13th I write about my feelings of loss for Katie and I tell you all about how wonderful she was (and she was) and how much I miss her (which I really do). All of this is true, and to a certain extent it is even more painful as the years have gone by. I think of the times I would have had, if she had lived. I think of what she would be like as a grown woman. Yes, the feelings inside of me can overwhelm at times.

As I put together this montage of her pictures I noted with great sadness that there are no more new pictures of Katie. And Amanda and I have grown and changed over the last 22 years. Life has gone on for us, but sadly, not for her.

The music in this montage is sort of interesting. You see one day I drove to pick Katie up at kindergarten and when she saw the car she started jumping up and down waving at me. I can still see that when I hear this song. The lyrics, which many people have never heard, can be found in the extended entry.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I chose to live in the present now. I allow myself two days a year (the anniversary of the accident and Katie’s birthday) to remember, to grieve and to wallow a bit, but it is hard.

She had the most beautiful red curls and dancing green eyes and a little voice that made one think of Leprechauns. She wasn’t perfect, but she was special and sweet and she was my daughter.

The accident forever changed me, and Amanda, but from the ashes of our previous lives, like a Phoenix, we have risen to make a good, happy life in the present.

But you just never forget that time, those events…

…or that wonderful little girl.

Kathleen Alynne

Continue reading “Remembering”

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SHOES

These are my gardening/going out with the puppy/rain clogs! They are the most comfortable clogs and have served me well. Currently they are covered in grass because the lawn is newly mowed.
These little babies have been a real Godsend, because as those of you with puppies know, there are times you need to get the puppy out in a few seconds, and I can literally step into these shoes and run out the door.

Yes folks, I’m back. After taking a few weeks off I am back to making some new Thursday Thirteen lists. Here we go. The first one back is:

The Boston Edition

1– I went to Boston yesterday.
2-Thankfully Hubby drove me. The traffic was heavy.
3– We finally found a parking spot on the second to the last level of the parking garage.
4– We went to a great Indian Restaurant called Tantric for lunch.
5– The food was fabulous!!!
6– My eyes were examined and they made a topographical map of their surface.
7– My left eye, which was operated on in August ’06 is doing great. My right eye showed a few problems.
8– Dr. W. wants me to return to my Retinal Surgeon, Dr. C. for further treatment.
9– I feel pretty nervous and scared.
10-The trip out of the city was equally as hectic.
11-We stopped to grocery shop and pick up the makings for fondue.
12-Came home, walked the dogs, Hubby mowed the lawn (It looks great!) and I put dinner together.
13-Then some mindless TV before bed.

It was another lovely day here in New Hampshire. Usually I’m busy and not able to go for a relaxing car ride through the countryside, but today I had an appointment with my Orthopedist, and his office is about 50 miles away. The roads are all back country roads, and at this time of year they were quite lovely.

I left the house after lunch and drove our car. I love my car. It is a Cadillac Deville and runs beautifully. It also drives fast, steers likes a dream and is comfortable to ride in. Best of all it takes regular gas and gets good mileage.

I’d brought several CD’s with me and while I drove across the state I sang with James Taylor, Sting, and Five For Fighting (in addition to others) at the top of my lungs! I don’t subject anyone to these rare outbursts of my “American Idol Want-to-be” moments. But today the planets were aligned and it just felt right.

The good news is, I do not need surgery on my knee! Yay for me! The bad news is, the doctor looked at me and told me that I must lose 25 pounds (he actually was being kind) and exercise to strengthen the knee. Because of some damage to that knee I will need to be careful when I ski again using a knee brace, but for now I should be fine.

I returned to my car feeling happy and ready for ski season to begin. (Not really, but it sounds good! Ha!) I called Hubby and relayed the good news and headed back east. There was a bit more traffic on my return drive, but not even that could dampen my happiness at having had this wonderful drive.

Several things kept my mind busy today. This is good. My grandmother used to say “Maribeth, as long as you keep your mind busy, it won’t stop working”. Well Gram needn’t have worried. If anything, my brain tends to function overtime!

I woke with the concern that the pedigrees from Germany won’t arrive before the Zuchtschau next fall. A Zuchtschau is a German dog show. I brought Greta last year for her rating. You can read about it here and here.

Greta received the highest rating of excellent, and I was so proud. Now I will bring her babies and see how they do before the German judge. I am hoping that they will do as well as Greta. Oh, I am nervous already!

Anyway back to their German pedigrees. The dogs have already gotten their AKC pedigrees and registration numbers and now I await their German, (DTK) pedigrees. So I called our German breed warden and asked her what would happen if they did not arrive? She said not to worry she would email Germany and ask specifically to have them taken care of.

End of concern #1.

Then I was worried because as I was putting laundry away I turned to go out of the room and tripped over Arnie. I caught him with my sneaker and he squealed and made me feel terrible. I picked him up quickly and held him tight until he had forgotten his ills. However, the guilt was terrible for me!

Arnie.

Pretty much the end of concern #2, although I still feel bad.

Anneliese.

It was a great day weather wise, so we had the puppies out a lot. They played in the back yard and had such fun, that was until they ran around the side of the house and I had to chase after them! I managed to chase them back and all was well.

End of problem #3.

The day seemed to pick up then. I made nice salads with barbecued chicken on top for lunch, drove out to get the mail and pick up some repaired feet for the snow blower for Hubby, and came home and played with the puppies again.

The day is ending, the sun setting and I’m hoping I won’t be so worried when I wake up tomorrow. I know in the long run of life, everything takes care of itself. It’s just that I often have difficulty of letting go…..and letting God handle things.

Ever have one of those days where you wake up and are full of energy?

I know, I don’t have them very often either, but today I felt really good and really motivated! I fixed Hubby’s breakfast early, and before my second cup of coffee, I had stripped the bed, and started the laundry. I also began putting things away. Now this is truly a miracle. Quite often I will be looking at something, and a puppy will whine near the door and I drop what I am doing and rush out the door. When I return I completely forget what it is I have been doing or was holding and it sits in the exact same spot for…a while.

Today I was clearing shelves, putting magazines in the used bin, and I even got down and cleaned the fire place for the summer. By noon I’d gotten so much done that I was actually scaring myself.

Was I sick?

Now before you all think I am a total slob, let me tell you that I like to think of myself as a comfortably neat housekeeper. My home is always clean, but often has that lived in look.

The afternoon was so beautiful that I decided that this was a good time to re-pot my tomato plants. I grow my tomatoes in the green house. I grow them in large pots. So today I took the foot tall plants and put them in new pots with nice rich soil.

I sat down on the patio watching the puppies play with Greta and Fritz and drank a tall lemon water. They were still full of energy and racing around the back yard. It was about that time that I began to wind down, but dinner was still ahead of me.

Anneliese, Greta and Arnie in front of the Gala apple tree in our yard. That is our neighbor’s home in the background.

I tried a new recipe for Haddock (quite good actually) and then once the dishes were done and the puppies walked again, I found myself in a hot shower rinsing away all the dirt from my day.

I’ve got my dachshund pajamas on, the remote control all to myself because Hubby is at a meeting, and the makings of a beautiful sunset across the lake in the next hour to enjoy. What a great way to end this day.

See? I was right. The sunset was beautiful!