5 Years ago I went in for “simple cataract surgery”. You know, everyone that has that comes home, exclaiming, “Wow, everything is so bright, beautiful and clear, again!”. Not me. The day they removed the bandages, I was horrified because I had these prisms running through my vision. If I was in a room with pot lights in the ceiling, I was literally blinded.
This is what I see when I am in a brightly lit room or outside in the sun.
(A friend took a picture facing the bright light in the late afternoon, and when I saw it, I excalimed that this is what I see all the time!)
I complained to my doctor, who assured me that he had done a wonderful job and that everything was fine and I needed to recover and relax.
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Many of you have asked, and I have been thinking it is time to write about one of the most devastating moments in my life. It is, after all these years, still the most painful time in my life, and if I allow myself to dwell too much on it, I will get lost in the past. So, I will try to write about it now and then put it away for perhaps another 20 years.
In 1985 I was married to my ex-husband, Bob, and we had just finished building a small house in southern New Hampshire. We did everything in it from the design, framing, insulation, wall boarding, painting, etc. It was quite an accomplishment.
We had two daughters, Amanda age 8 and Katie age 6. Katie had just graduated from Kindergarten at the end of May, so she was already out of school, while Amanda was still in classes for another few days.
We had planned a huge house-warming party to show off our new home to family and friends for the 15th of June. The weather was good and so we thought it was all coming together.
On the 13th of June, the electric company came and did the final hook up for our water heater! Finally hot water. The workman suggested I wait for an hour or so before using the hot water. Great, I thought, I’ll go out and do errands while I wait for my first hot bath in our new home.
Katie and I dressed in our work clothes, got our 4-month-old puppy Sheba, and climbed into my 1979 Ford Fiesta car. It was a beautiful, warm sunny June day, with such a bright blue sky and not one cloud. We stopped at the bank, and we stopped at the hot tub shop to make the final arrangements for the delivery of our new tub. I was happy and I felt carefree.
Katie and I climbed into the car and headed to another store to get her and her sister new bathing suits. Both the girls had grown over the winter and their swimsuits no longer fit them.
As I started the car, I looked over at Katie and smiled. She had buckled her seat belt and locked her door. Just as I was getting ready to move the car she looked at me and said, “Mom, put your seat belt on too.” Little Minx! So I dutifully put mine on and off we went.
As we drove we listened to the radio and we talked. Out of the blue, Katie said, “I love you so much Mommy!” and I replied, “I love you too, Katie!”
Less than a mile from our intended destination, the traffic light turned red. I shifted out of gear and slowly came to a stop.
That is all I remember.
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