In Memoriam

Kathleen Alynne Hayden
November 1978 – June 1985


This bright, beautiful little girl came into my life at the stroke of 5:29 AM on November the 8th of 1978. She was a happy child with apple cheeks and bright red curls and green eyes. She loved yogurt, the Smurfs and her toy Gizmo and playing Barbie dolls with her sister. She loved animals and people and nature.
Katie was a great kid. One that you enjoyed being with just because she enjoyed being with you. The last time we spoke to each other, the last words she said to me were, “I love you so much Mommy!” and I smiled and told her, “I love you too, Katie”.
And then she was gone.

On June 13th 1985 an impaired (stoned) man driving a 5 ton truck blew a stop light and ran over our car. In 11 seconds it was all over, and in 11 seconds, our lives changed forever.

It’s hard to believe that 20 years have passed. It seems like just the other day that she was with me. Some days I can still hear her voice and the memory of her touch is so clear. And other days it’s like a dream. A wonderful dream that turned into a nightmare.

So today, I honor my child.
I will always love you. I will always miss you. You will be, forever, in my heart.

The Hum…

My family will tell you that I live like a recluse. I like things quiet, I enjoy not seeing or hearing the activity of my neighbors or the traffic noises from the street. Peace. Since I know this about myself and have set about living my life this way, I don’t see any reason to apologize, although I do get teased often when I complain about noise. My brother in-law teases me the most. “Noise?” he asks, “What noise?”
Of course this week is Motorcycle Week. With over 400,000 biker’s expected to visit the state in the next few days, the low growling hum of Harley’s (and assorted other bikes) is all you can hear when you are outside.
I wonder how they do that? I mean, most BIG trucks don’t make that much noise, but somehow the Harley’s do. I can see we will have an entire generation with hearing aids from all the unmuffled noise from their motorcycles!
Oh well, only eight days to go!

What do you do when it’s 90 degrees outside??

It was like living in Florida today. The temperature climbed to the 90’s and the humidity was at 70 %. Now this is the big reason I left Florida. I just couldn’t stand living like this all the time.
We have air conditioning, so at least inside the house it was cool and dry. That helped me get a lot of cleaning done.
During one of my breaks from cleaning, I decided to check out the online sales. I went to the LL Bean web site and saw a beautiful Penobscot Down Parka on sale for 1/2 the list price! This is the warmest, snuggliest parka that Bean’s make. I was so excited. Just what I need! (just not today!)
So I ordered it in a Mulberry Plum color, just to be a little different. I have to admit though, that ordering a heavy winter parka on the hottest day of the year made me feel extremely silly. But in a few months when I am breaking out my ski gear again and getting ready to hit the slopes, I know I will be happy that on June 11th I purchased this warm jacket!

Round and Round

Yesterday was planned around doing my errands, a doctor’s appointment, and grocery shopping. Sounds simple enough, but when you have the start of “Motorcycle Week” up here, you soon find yourself stuck in long lines of traffic behind motorcycles, motor homes and well, tons of cars.
I’m not a traffic person. However, I knew before I left home that I had all of this to deal with and I was prepared with several great CD’s of “singing loudly” type of music. (This is the stuff I play only when I am alone, so I can sing and no one can hear me!)

Continue reading “Round and Round”

And the storm raged on and on

Last night we got a huge thunder, lightening, and rain storm about 8 o’clock. What a light and sound show! The wind, and rain started like you would not believe, and it was like being caught in a hurricane! Usually these storms rip through the area fairly quickly, but not last night. It went on and on, for about 2 hours!
At one point the front window started leaking, as it hadn’t been shut tightly enough! So there I was trying to open and close the darn thing, sop up the water and not get struck by lightening. (I just have this fatalistic approach to life. If it will happen to anyone, it will happen to me!) Anyway, I had all three dogs in my chair with me, Fritz seemed the most nervous, Shubi just wanted the closeness and I think Greta just didn’t want to be left out!
The funniest part was when I wanted to go to bed. I knew the dogs all needed to be walked and yet, they weren’t going out in THAT. So off came my slippers and socks and on came my raincoat, and out we all went. They all performed well and you should have seen me move fast, when another clap of thunder struck! Two steps and I was in the house!

4 Dog Night

Yesterday in the late afternoon a Friend from up “north” arrived with his 15 month old Labradore, Sammy for a visit. He is looking to buy a place in this area and was down looking around. He had camped out the night before, and due to the wet spring found himself nearly carried off by the mosquito’s! So he was on his way home.
Well, you know how that goes. The dogs get playing, beers are drunk and then dinner served and more beer flows and before you know it, certain people are over their limit for a three hour drive. Not a problem, I explain. This is a “dog friendly” house.
Thunder storm sets in! The skies open and the rain pours down!

Continue reading “4 Dog Night”

Behind those eyes

Sometimes when I look at Greta I wonder what she is thinking behind those eyes.
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She will be sitting there quietly, and I’ll look over and see her watching me. And I can almost read her mind, but not quite.
This is a little girl who loves life and all it has to offer. She follows me around the house and even when I am in the shower, she waits by the shower door. She listens so intently to the children playing at the beach below us and her head and eyes tell me that she is taking in ever word, every sound that she hears.
She plays with wild abandon. Gently and easily with Shubi and fiercely and rather crazily with Fritz, who is quite intimidated by her. She runs the length of the back yard to catch a ball, and then sits holding it waiting…
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I’m in awe of this little girl, for she is such a surprise to me. I had expected that I would never be as crazy for another dog as I am for Shubi, and yet, I am totally lost in love with this little being.

No Cavities!!!

Look, no cavities! I liked the new dentist. He is young, about 38 or 39, tall and sort of cute. He is also very kind. I told him about my dental phobia, and he listened, (and didn’t call for a straight jacket) and told me that he would be very careful and never do anything to hurt me. Somehow I did feel reassured. He had also kept all of my old dentist’s office staff and dental hygienists. I liked that. And they seem to like him. I hope this works out. Breaking in dentists is a hard thing to do.


I had one of those nights last night where I dreamt a lot. The dreams were long and vivid. In my dreams were people I haven’t seen much lately. I had a wonderful visit with my friend and her husband, and ate a wonderful meal, (full of carbs, and with no guilt!) and the other was with someone long gone from this world. That dream was more poignant. But wonderful, in that when I dream of Her, I can almost feel her touch or smell the sweetness of her hair.
I used to be afraid of my dreams. I used to have so many bad ones. Lately it seems they have been pleasant and soothing.
What do you dream about, and do you remember your dreams?