I think there are many lessons that we learn along the way in life. We’ve called many of those lessons things that we learned in “The School Of Hard Knocks”.
This is so true. I’ve learned about doing unto others… I’ve learned about karma…I’ve learned that life, no matter how good you believe yourself to be, is not fair. Far from it, at times.
So, as I sat with my friend, Candy, I was struck dumb at first. I didn’t know what to say except the usual, “I love you”, and I knew that at times like this if you aren’t sure what to say, be quiet.
So there I sat, holding her hand and letting her drift between wakefulness and sleep.
You see, I’m a talker. Ask anyone who knows me. I can carry on long conversations all by myself, while other people sit back amazed at my gift for the gab.
One time when Mandy was a baby, I went to visit my grandmother. I lived with her during my teen years and each day after school I would arrive home in time for tea. I would tell Grandma all about my day and she would smile and listen. As a teen, I thought we had great talks. But on this day, as a new mother, Gram and I sat and I talked and talked, and realized that Gram was sitting there smiling at me.
“What?” I asked her. Suddenly very confused.
“Oh my dear, How I have missed listening to you talk!” she said with a smile.
So, as I sat with Candy, I was amazed that I had nothing to say. You see while driving from Orlando to Port Charlotte, I prayed to God. I asked him to help me do his work and not my own.
That first day, I talked with Candy about getting to her in time, and my great love for her and then I knew I had to let go of any agenda I might have and allow myself to be the comfort to Candy that she needed.
That first night Candy was very restless. She was upset about so many things that in the grand scheme of things she needed to let go of. I listened to her, I offered no solutions. I knew that she just needed to vent.
Her breathing grew labored and out of control as she became more upset. The visiting nurse arrived and seeing her distress he suggested medication to help her relax. She hated that, but since she literally felt like she was drowning, she listened and took the medication.
It did make her relax and later when she began to get upset again, I spoke gently and offered her a short back rub.
That first day I learned that the power of touch is often worth more than all those empty words that we spill out in life.
For a talker, this was life-changing.
3 thoughts on “Quietness”
Sometimes there just aren’t any words. Sometimes words are superfluous.
Thank you for sharing your heart here, Maribeth.
I learn mainly from my line of work a personal caregiver. Sometime people aren’t there for advice just a someone to listen.
Coffee is on