Category: My Life

Thursday was the last appointment for my root canal. I now have a molar tooth that cost me more than my last two cruises!

To be certain, I would rather have gone on the cruises, for I found this particular root canal, not only tooth painful, but jaw painful!

Today wasn’t bad. He just fit the crown and glued it in, and then jokingly said I should stay away from candied apples and taffy!

Ha-Ha! I have literally paid for several dentists to retire on all of my root canals and dental procedures. Somehow making a joke about sticky yummy foods, did not inspire me to laugh.

But, it’s over and done with, and tonight when I go to bed, it’s with the realization, that tomorrow, I do not have a dental appointment!

I found this great list online that guarantees it will help you Spring Clean and organize you house! Well, I could sure use that this year, as I am forced to admit that this winter found me hunkered down, with dogs and blankets, letting the deep cleaning go for the winter.

Now is the time to start in one room and work until it is finished and then move on to the next.

Anyone who has been reading me very long will be aware of the fact that I need to clean my office. I have stated this year after year, but 2015 will be the year that I actually get it done.

And God willing, I will also get a little painting done as well, although I am not going to freak myself out too much with over planning.

I go today to have my eyes examined for new glasses, and then I need to pick out new frames. I also need to select the lightest weight lenses, as the bridge of glasses cut right smack dab into my scars. Very uncomfortable!

Hubby is starting to feel better, and he wants to go with me to the shop, but I have told him he is still grounded until the cough is better.

For now, off I go. It will be nice to have a little quiet time away from dog world! LOL!

I woke today to find that a dear man who I had known as a child had passed from this life to the next. He was 88 years old.

Dr. D. was the father of my childhood pal, and he was always including me in fun things. My first camping trip to Maine was with his family. I recall sitting in the back of the family Jeep on our way to the camp. We also took a walk early one morning there and I saw my first moose!

There was a time that I was up in the tree house with a few kids, and they got down, took the ladder and left me there, and pulled the ladder away. This was a pretty high tree house, and I was stuck. I sat there crying my eyes out, as the sun set.

Then there was a flash light, and there he was. Dr. D. put the ladder up to the tree house, and helped me down. Then he took my hand and walked me home.

As I grew up, and got married, and was in the hospital having my second child, Dr. D. was the on call anesthesiologist, and he came in to give me an epidural. Then he asked if it was ok to stay to watch our baby being born. Absolutely!

Each time I returned to my hometown on the Cape, I would pop in to see him and his wife. They were always gracious and happy to see me.

Now he is gone, and I am sad that I will not see him again in this life. I never got to thank him for all that he did to make my childhood a happy one. So I send off these feelings in a prayer and hope that they will reach him in Heaven.

For he was a good man. Rest in Peace, Dr. D.

Today I went to see my retinal surgeon. I go every six months to make sure my retinas are okay, and have been seeing Dr. C. since that fateful day when my first retina detached in 2002. You can go here and read about the first detachment.

My second retina detached in 2009. You can read about that one here. Anyway, today was my 6 month check up with him. Today I planned to tell him some very important information.

You see in the years since I first met Dr. C. I have learned a lot about retinas, a lot about his work, and how for every success like mine there are just as many people who lose their vision. Some weeks are good weeks for him. Others are weeks when no matter what he does, people go blind.

Today when I arrived I spoke with his physicians assistant. I asked how his week was going? She said, it had been a tough one for him.

So, I took out my Savannah picture book, selected this picture, and waited.

When he came in, I told him, “I know that in your line of work, some days are good and some days are bad. I know you don’t always have the best outcomes. But I wanted to tell you that I thank God every day for giving you the gift to restore my vision. Every time I look at my granddaughter and see her beautiful face I feel so lucky. Thank you!”

He took the booklet from my hands and looked at each Savannah picture. Then he thanked me. He said he’d had a tough week.

I knew then that I’d picked the right time to thank him, in a very sincere way. I felt like at that moment, after all these years, we had become friends.

On Wednesday I went to get my tooth ready for a crown. I had not anticipated such an ordeal, but it sure was. I was under the assumption that the worst was behind me. You know, the root canal and such, but the prepping for this crown on that tooth was brutal!

I have had root canals before, but not on a molar, and perhaps that is what caused the problem. The Endodontist did the root canal work, and then put a temporary closure on that. My own dentist had to grind down the tooth, make molds of it, etc, and then make a temporary tooth. The entire thing took from 11:10 AM until almost 12:30 PM!

My jaw is probably the most problematic. It does not handle being wide open for long periods of time. The actual jaw joint is really sore!

I came home and as the Novocaine wore off, I was in agony. I’d mentioned to the Dentist that I don’t do pain well, and his answer was, that I should take Motrin! Got to say, taking Motrin was like chewing a Gummy Bear. It did absolutely nothing for the pain!

So, here I am two day past the event, still hurting, and mostly eating soft foods. I hope by the end of the weekend I can be back to eating normal foods. I know I won’t be eating anything really chewy for a while, but at least normal meal foods.

On the bright side, this is really good for my diet!

This weeks TBT are pictures of me at one and a half years old. I cannot believe that I am sitting still, as I have heard stories about me being a very active, climbing baby! In any case, here I am, in the front yard of our house on Clipper Lane in Falmouth.

And this one Dad took. I can see my hands are moving, so I know this picture was a real challenge for him!

It’s been two years since the surgery that removed the cancer from my nose. Back then I thought I would go in, have a small incision and a little plastic surgery to put me back together.

But that was not what happened. A large part of my nose was removed and skin taken from my forehead, to cover my nose with skin.

I feel the first plastic surgeon botched the job and left me quite disfigured. I was lucky to find a wonderful Australian Doctor at Brigham and Women’s Hospital who worked very hard for over 6 months to repair what was left of my face.

I cannot tell you how it felt to wake up and see myself after the surgery. From late February until July of that year, I simply thought I would forever look like I went through the windshield of my car.

Then I found Dr. P. in Boston and he told me honestly that he couldn’t make me exactly as God had, but he could certainly do his best to repair my face.

Which he did. From July 2013 until the end of November of that year I saw him every few weeks for additional surgery.

Then it was over, and I knew that I needed time to recover, and for the scars to heal.  I remember looking in the mirror and hoping that the bright red scars would fade away.

It seemed every day all I could see was the scars. I could not see anything positive in my appearance and I started to fall into a pretty deep depression.

It was like, one day waking up only to find that your face has been hacked and no longer belongs to you.

People said nice things, like, I looked great and they didn’t even notice the scars. But deep down, I knew they did. I just couldn’t see anything positive on my face.

On Saturday my cousin took a picture of me and for the first time in two years, I thought I actually looked pretty.

I think it was then I realized just how I had been seeing myself. And I knew I needed to snap out of it, and stop looking in the mirror, and perhaps start looking inside of myself, instead.

Have you ever wondered about the people in your life that are your support system? I’m lucky to have several people who can really talk me off the ledge, when my emotions get the best of me.

Most of the time, I’m fairly level, and I try hard not to let things bother me, but sometimes, something will throw me and Manic Maribeth is off and running.

My daughter, sister, cousin and certain friends, all have the ability, of helping me chill. Theirs is not an easy job, as I can over-think anything, and they must be on the ball in order to stay one step ahead of me!

I like to think that it’s creative minds, such as myself, that keep the world turning and perhaps contribute amazing things, although I am still not sure what mine is.

I know that many creative types, also have over-thinkers syndrome. Some of them, sort of go off the deep end, and then you have people like me who have worked hard to stay this side of the sanity line.

Yes, I know I am one of them.  The over thinkers, over worriers, over wondering people. Perhaps it is because I am a caring person. After all, if I didn’t care, I would not concern myself with all of this. And yet I do.

Am I overthinking this?

As I was driving home from time spent with my daughter, Mandy, I was feeling so very blessed. Mandy and I, along with my cousin, Janet and her sister in-law, Sue, went to a painting class on Saturday evening. We had a blast and although the greats like Monet and Renoir will never be challenged by me, I must say, my enjoyment, perhaps exceeded theirs.

The setting was a small river, with a cabin setting amongst the snow. It was fun to watch us all interpret the same picture in very different ways. I am also the most vocal, and critical of the four of us, so their was a lot of gasping and eeking on my part, which caused my family great laughter. I am glad. It was great to hear them laughing with me, happily!

I also spent time both before and after at Mandy and Matt’s home. I have to say that my daughters touch, as she and Matt set up their new house was all around. Mandy has such a good eye and gentle heart. I felt so comfortable, so at home. I sat there yesterday while Savannah was napping and Mandy and Matt were at the movies, feeling so proud of my daughter and Matt and the home they are making for Savannah.

I slept over, as I don’t see very well in the dark, to drive at night. I fell sleep almost instantly and slept really well, until I heard Savannah calling to her Mommy. That, was such a sweet sound. I am so thankful that I was there to hear this endearing exchange.

We went out for breakfast and shared pancakes, french toast and oatmeal. And I mentioned to Mandy that it was time for me to stop looking at my scars and start taking pictures of me with Savannah again. Life it too short. So she took this one.

Ah we are so blessed in this life. Sometimes we just need to look around us. Blessings are right there!