Today is my 63rd birthday. Odd. How did that happen? I do not feel that old. Officially, according to Social Security, I am not old. In order to get my full retirement, I have to wait until I am 67 and a half, so you see, I am still very young!
I was born and raised on Cape Cod, in Massachusetts. I still feel that the Cape will always be my home, even if I don’t get down there too often.
I was the youngest child of three, and I guess a bit of a tom-boy. I loved playing trucks and riding my bicycle all over town. I did like Barbie Dolls and played them with my sister and cousin. But I was equally happy climbing trees and going on adventures along creeks and swamps.
I did many things alone. I would ride down to the beach and climb the jetties. I would sit and dream and lose myself in thought.
I also tried to make people laugh. At times life was hard, and I could joke around and get people smiling.
Yet, as a young woman, I seemed to lose that child-like confidence. Although many would say I was outgoing, not many knew how I worried I was inside of falling on my face and failing.
Now I am sixty-three. Golly, I have learned so much along the way. But, oh, that insecure woman still resides within, and occasionally rears her ugly head.
I find my peace with my pups. Walking them or holding them or waking to their morning face licks. Unconditional love. Given freely, by my fur babies meant so much.
Having a grown-up daughter is amazing, and watching the wonderful mother she is with her children, makes me proud. She is a self-made woman. What an amazing person she is!
My grandchildren are everything. Savannah tells me her secrets and stories, and Quinn is coming into his own. He always checks to see if I remembered his Bai water when I come down, and recently my Kindergartener made me a card all by himself. To Oma, Love, Quinn. Why? Just because.
The hugs, their smiles, watching them grow puts a smile on me like you cannot believe. How grateful I am.
So life at 63 isn’t too bad. It’s not quite what I thought it would be, but it is a good life nonetheless.
I guess that I can finally let you in on a little secret. I have been accepted as a future Mama for a 2-week old wirehaired dackel! She is currently living with her birth mother while she spends her days drinking and growing and sleeping. She will be coming home after Christmas to live here in the mountains of my State.
I had been toying around with different names for my wee lass, and I went back to my favorite girl’s name when I was a teenager. And so, when my little Miss comes home she will be called:
I cannot tell you how lonely I have been since Arnie died. Lili is sweet, but she is not a cuddler and actually is Jack’s dog. So my arms and bed are empty and there is no one to go on my walks with me. I knew it was going to be hard saying goodbye to Arnie, but I did not expect it to be this bad.
I guess what they say is true, “Grief is the price you pay for love.”
Now Heidi is on her way. We will walk, go to class, and learn all that one must to be a proper puppy. Best of all, I get to have another lifetime to spend with a pup. I’ve already ordered a collar and leash. Next is a new Airline approved bag for her and away we go!
The last couple of days I have been quiet. I needed the quiet. I think there are times you find that keeping busy helps to take your mind off of the things that are bothering you. Then the thoughts come up and hit you and you begin to feel it all again.
Life is very quiet since Arnie has passed. In the last months of his life, he was quite vocal, and now there is silence.
Lili will follow me around some, but she is the guard dog of our house and most often is on the floor next to the door. Occasionally she will come in and sleep on the sofa, but mostly she is on duty.
Anyway, I decided to do a few things to get ready for Christmas, and fortunately, I can shop online. I’ve actually made quite a dent in the shopping!
While having my quiet time I have also wiped my hard drive and reloaded things. Things are in better order than they were.
The weather has also been rather fierce reminding me that we have now entered Autumn. The wind has been blowing so hard that it makes loud noises outside. The lovely leaves are blowing down and very soon our trees will resemble skeletons.
Autumn may be late this year, but it is finally here and I actually broke out the warm nightgown last night.
Stay warm and snuggly in your home and enjoy the last days of Autumn as they blow by.
I thought I would sit down and write about my new wet/dry cleaner for my hard floors (wood or tile). I had done the tiled bathrooms, but I was looking forward to doing the kitchen floor. As I said yesterday, my kitchen is huge and is a high-traffic area.
I was all set to do this in the morning, but since it was Saturday and I had to get our mail by noon, along with a recycling center run and pick up a few groceries, I had to put off my floor washing until after lunch.
It worked like a gem! It was easy on my back/neck and it made my floor sparkle! I’ve been washing floors for years and they have never looked this good. Never!
It did take a while. I admit that by the time I was done about 3:30 (this included loading the machine, using it, and then cleaning the machine after) I was really a wee bit tired. But heck, I’m an old lady!
However, every time I go out to the kitchen for anything, I smile at how wonderful my floor looks!
I would definitely give my cleaner 5 stars!
I made an easy dinner for Jack, a nice easy diet dinner for me, and then hit the shower afterward.
Oddly enough, I did not sleep well. Perhaps it was the rain or all the work I’d done. But after tossing and turning all night I gave up and got out of bed at 4:45! Ugh!
Here’s an interesting note about our weather. It is October 17th and we still have not had the first frost. This is unusual. Our first frost usually happens by the end of September. Right now we don’t see a hard frost on our horizon.
On Friday I made good use of my time. I had a three o’clock Glaucoma Eye Doctor appointment, so I left late morning and stopped at various places along the way.
I shopped for canned goods, and various storable food items went to our local Outlet Mall (an outdoor mall) and bought two Christmas presents. I masked up and didn’t get close to anyone, and I also washed my hands and used sanitizer.
I stayed on my healthy eating plan, getting a small container of cottage cheese and some fruit for my lunch. I also stopped at BJ’s for gas and tanked up for $2.97 a gallon. (I felt good about that!)
Traffic was heavy on my way to Manchester. People were simply driving crazy. It was a relief to get to her office in one piece!
My exam showed eye pressures of 14 in my right eye and 15 in my left. Better than they were a year ago, but still not where we want them to be. I will go back in two months and if they are the same or higher I may need further laser surgery.
It is a relief to have a doctor I feel totally confident with. She is amazingly good and I feel well taken care of.
After my appointment, I got back on the highway for my trip home. The traffic was really bad then and when I got to the Capitol of New Hampshire, Concord, it was literally “stop and go”.
I made it home in time to feed Lili and Jack and prepare a nice meal of zucchini and summer squash sauteed with a turkey burger. Actually, not too bad.
So that was my Friday. Today I plan to get out my new floor cleaner and do the kitchen floor. I imagine that will take me a while as I have a huge kitchen. For anyone looking for a wet/dry cleaner for your hard floors, this machine is really good and it is on sale at BJ’s until November 3rd.
So Friday found me on the road to see my new Primary Care Nurse Practitioner.
To say she is lovely, warm, efficient and the only medical professional who has ever treated me would be an understatement. Amy is all of those things and more.
I went in with a list of 5 problems I am having, and she went down the list and seriously addressed each and every one of them!
Finally! A medical professional that actually listens to me and is striving to get a handle on everything.
By the time I left her office, I had prescriptions for a UTI (yes, again), an appointment to have an MRI, and a knee x-ray. There were other things I needed her help with and she was so glad to help me.
The ride home for me was really busy. It was bumper to bumper from our tolls on route 93 north. This lasted for probably 15-20 miles. I wasn’t at all surprised because it’s a holiday weekend and everyone is coming up to go to local fairs and others to close up their summer camps.
I stopped to pick up my mail at the Post Office, only to find my little town in all stupidity has blocked off several more parking spaces. Now they have blocked any space for the disabled to park close enough to the building. Isn’t that against the law? It infuriated me.
A woman I know was defending it because a woman was killed in the crosswalk a few years back. I am sorry for this. But, it was a series of tragic events that led to it.
First, the woman was reading the mail in her hands and not looking as she crossed the road. The teenager who hit her was using his cellphone to text.
You get the picture. It was a rather unfortunate series of events. And now, now it’s making it difficult to get into the Post Office for most people. It’s making a local shipping store (which also has mailboxes) look better and better.
I came home to Lili who greeted me quite happily, and Jack, who was already eating his lunch.
First I want to thank everyone who has written to me with their love and condolences after the passing of dear Arnie. His loss has taken the wind out of my sails and the sadness is rather great. Your love and care mean a great deal to me.
I woke in the night and discovered an empty bed. Always I would get up and return to a warm furry body waiting for me. Now the bed is empty and I am alone.
Lili and I got up at six o’clock and we both looked at each other and wondered how we would get through the day. Somehow we managed, but tomorrow I need to do a few things around here.
I need to wash Arnie’s bed and put it away. The little dackel steps need to be washed and also stored. For now, we have no small fur babies, and both Lili and I keep expecting to find Arnie sleeping in his bed.
One day, we will adopt a little wire-haired dackel. We will need all the little things that made my pups live and thrive in their home.
Back in 1966, I played Gretl in our community theater’s version of The Sound of Music. Those were my wonder years as I was not shy and still lived in a world of childlike wonder. Therefore, I looked at the play as a great adventure, and no audience made me nervous.
I was the very youngest in the cast at just 8 years old. And when I look back at that time, I recall working with some of the nicest people I have ever known. I am the very smallest one on the end.
Both the woman who played Maria and the man who played Captain Von Trapp became life-long friends. They always treated me like I was their child.
I am just to the right of “Maria”.
I am not sure if you can read this or not. It is the review for the play. I get a very kind mention. But as I said, this really was a special time for me.