Happy Heavenly Birthday, Katie!

This would have been Katie’s 45th Birthday. It seems so strange to me when I think about it because when I see her in my mind, she is forever six years old.

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But I wanted to remember her on this special day. For her birth, was one of the happiest days of my life. I miss her so much, and I think I always will. I can still hear her voice, and see her bright shining smile.

So Happy Birthday, my little Angel. I miss you and love you, and think of you every moment of every day.

5. E four (21)

Happy Birthday, Katie!

This would have been Katie’s 45th Birthday. It seems so strange to me when I think about it because when I see her in my mind, she is forever six years old.

kate1a

But I wanted to remember her, on this special day. For her birth was one of the happiest days of my life. I miss her so much, and I think I always will. I can still hear her voice, and see her bright shining smile.

So Happy Birthday, my little Angel. I miss you, and love you, and think of you every moment of every day.

5. E four (21)

Memories

Kathleen Alynne Hayden
November 1978 – June 1985

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This bright, beautiful little girl came into my life at the stroke of 5:29 AM on November 8th of 1978. She was a happy child with apple cheeks and bright red curls and green eyes. She loved yogurt, the Smurfs, and her toy Gizmo and playing Barbie dolls with her sister. She loved animals and people and nature.
Katie was a great kid. One that you enjoyed being with just because she enjoyed being with you. The last time we spoke to each other, the last words she said to me were, “I love you so much, Mommy!” I smiled and told her, “I love you too, Katie”.

And then she was gone.

On June 13th, 1985 an impaired (stoned) man driving a 5-ton truck blew a red stop light and ran over our car. In 11 seconds it was all over, and in 11 seconds, our lives changed forever.

It’s hard to believe that 38 years have passed. It seems like just the other day that she was with me. Some days I can still hear her voice and the memory of her touch is so clear. And other days it’s like a dream. A wonderful dream that turned into a nightmare.

So today, I honor my child.

I will always love you, Katie. I will always miss you. You will be, forever, in my heart.

kate1a

Days Are Numbered

Katie was born on Wednesday, November 8, 1978, at 5:30 in the morning. She was our second daughter, who came into our life with tiny red curls and blue-green eyes.  She was a happy baby, and even when she had to have her feet broken as a corrective measure, she was still happy.

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She loved her family, and she loved all animals. Her heart was a big one.

She enjoyed climbing trees, dancing, playing with Barbie dolls, and dressing up. One year her father made her and her sister a Barbie doll house and Mandy and Katie just loved it.

We went to County Fairs and rode on Merry-go-Rounds and ate popcorn and ice cream.

When asked by an old lady where she had gotten her red curls, Katie smiled and told her “One day Mommy was cutting my Daddy’s beard and it fell on my head and started to grow!”

She had a wicked good laugh and loved to sing everything from songs she heard on the radio, to songs she made up in her head.

I didn’t know that I would only have 2415 days, or 6 years, 7 months, and 11 days with her.

Had I known, I would have laughed more and appreciated every single hour of every single day.

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The accident happened. I’m grateful that I do not recall too much of it. I am also grateful that even though Katie never woke up from the coma she was in, at least we were able to hold her and kiss her before she passed away.

This year she would have been forty-four years old. She might have had a family of her very own.

Instead, from June 19, 1985, when she passed away until November eighth, 2022, I look back and see that she has been gone from us for 13,657 days, or 37 years, 4 months, 21 days. When I saw that I felt quite overwhelmed.

Most days I do well. But some days I am not sure how I have managed to cope.

We all miss you, Katie. I wish you were still with us. You were and still are greatly loved.

KatieKathleen Alynne

Katie Alynne ~ November 1978 ~ June 1985

I’ve been thinking a lot about my daughter Katie. After you lose a child, you learn to go on. Some days are better than others, and then a time will come when you are thrown back in time emotionally and the pain is overwhelming.

You all know that Katie lived. She was my youngest daughter, and a very sweet, kind, and funny girl.

item3Our Katie.

Most of you know that on June 13th, 1985, our car was run over by a box van truck trapping Katie and me inside.

I have no recollection of actually being in the car. I do not recall Katie being in or out of the car after the accident. In time I knew we were out of the car. But it just didn’t make sense. It was a warm sunny day and I recall seeing bright blue skies once the roof was lifted off of us.

Katie lingered in a coma until June 19th. Then Katie went home with God.

It’s been 37 years since that horrible day. One might think that the memories and the pain would not be as sharp. But it is. My arms still ache for her, and I wonder what might have been.

I’m allowing myself a little bit of grief before I pack it all up again and go through the motions of the days.

My life is a good one. I have many loves in my life. I am blessed. But until the day that I pass from this life to the next, I shall miss my girl and look forward to meeting up with her when I open my eyes in a whole new world.

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Katie!

Each year I remember Katie on her birthday. When you lose a child so very young, (Katie was 6 and a half years old) the harsh reality is, that she is frozen in time.

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The pictures I have are the only ones I will ever have. Taken with cheap cameras, because back then, there was no such thing as a digital camera or cell phone that actually took pictures. You had to buy film, pose a shot and then hope upon hope that when your pictures came back you captured something good. One never really knew.

These are the best pictures of Katie with her Dad, sister, Mandy, and me.

What a neat kid she was. Usually happy and cheerful, she loved music, art, and dancing. She adored animals and was quite a gentle soul.

The day she was born, found me waking very early for her 5:30 AM debut. She was a little smaller than Mandy at birth but had her very original wisps of curly red hair. My baby.

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I miss her a great deal. It’s actually hard to describe. It’s the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. Not wanting to, but having no choice.

I learned to go on, but always and forever, there is a piece of me missing.

Happy Birthday to my darling, youngest daughter in Heaven. Some day, one day, I will see you again.

kate1a

Thinking About Katie

11/8/78 – 6/19/85

I had a lovely daughter, named Kathleen “Katie” Alynne. She was my youngest daughter and quite amazing. She was six and a half when she died after a car accident that occurred on June 13th.  She lived until June 19th, but she never regained consciousness after the paramedics pulled her from the car. So in my mind and my heart, the 13th is the day that she left us.

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People have wondered and actually said to me, that after 36 years I should be over losing her.

What I know is, you never get over losing a child. But you learn to go on and to make a new life for yourself. But on days like today, I like to remind everyone that once long ago, lived a beautiful little girl named Katie!

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This is so beautiful. I was crying by the second line, Written by Henry Scott Holland (27 January 1847 – 17 March 1918) was Regius Professor of Divinity at the University of Oxford.

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Katie 2A few years ago, an old friend was sorting through his pictures when he found this one of Katie. I’d never seen it before, and it was such a wonderful gift!

Most days I do well. I don’t dwell and I can look at her lovely face in pictures and smile. Then there are days that it hits me all over again and I am overwhelmed by grief. I don’t stay there long. Katie wouldn’t want that.

I miss you each day, Katie.

Remembering Katie 11/8/1978 – 6/19/1985

Each year I remember Katie on her birthday. When you lose a child so very young, (Katie was 6 and a half years old) the harsh reality is, that she is frozen in time.

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The pictures I have are the only ones I will ever have. Taken with cheap cameras, because back then, there was no such thing as a digital camera or cell phones that actually took pictures. You had to buy film, pose a shot and then hope upon hope that when your pictures came back you captured something good. One never really knew.

These are the best pictures of Katie with her Dad, sister, Mandy, and me.

What a neat kid she was. Usually happy and cheerful, she loved music, art, and dancing. She adored animals and was quite a gentle soul.

The day she was born, found me waking very early for her 5:30 AM debut. She was a little smaller than Mandy at birth but had her very original wisps of curly red hair. My baby.

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I miss her a great deal. It’s actually hard to describe. It’s the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. Not wanting to, but having no choice.

I learned to go on, but always and forever, there is a piece of me missing.

Happy Birthday to my darling, youngest daughter in Heaven. Some day, one day, I will see you again.