My mom is sick. She is, in fact, dying of cancer. Mel and I have known for a while, but we didn’t want to tell her because, well, it’s hard to tell someone, especially your mother, that they are dying of cancer.
She learned, a few days ago that not only does she have liver cancer, but that it has spread to her lungs.
I hated for her to know this. You see a long time ago, back in 1977 my brother became ill, and a year and a day later he died from cancer. (Lymphoma)
Mom took care of him all that year. Through chemotherapy and radiation. Back then, treatments were brutal and Mom watched her son suffer and then pass away.
I think this is why I really didn’t want her to know. I didn’t want her scared. I did not want her to recall those last days with my brother and then fear for herself.
But in the end, she had to be told. And maybe in some ways it is kinder. She understands the pain, and no longer allows people to put her off about getting pain relief.
(She actually had a nurse tell her that she needed to “learn to get along” with the pain pills she had! Yes, I would like to pop that woman in the nose!)
My relationship with my Mom has always been “different”. I’ve spent a large part of my life arguing with her about really stupid stuff. And now…I just don’t want the anger, I want her to be pain free.
We don’t think it will be long. She is back in the hospital right now and I am thinking she may have to go into hospice care.
It stinks.
She is the last of her generation. When she is gone, well, then we will be the elders of the family.
If there is one wish that I have for her, it would be this…I pray that she does not suffer, and that when she passes, all the family will be there to greet her!
I am so sorry about your mom, Maribeth. Knowing that someone is terminally ill is a pretty harsh reality… and I understand your wish for her not to have to suffer so very well. Don’t we all just hope to fall asleep and not wake up when our time comes?
I wish this for your mom, I wish her to be as pain free as possible and I wish you and your sister strength and support during this very difficult time.
Hugs.
I am so sorry about your Mom. I lost my Mom last October 10th to a major stroke. It came out of the blue, and we had no time to even think about life without her. She didn’t suffer, Thank God. Treasure what time she has left, and say all the things you need to say. I wish I could have said some things to my Mom before she died. The picture of you, your sister and your Mom is wonderful! I think your daughter, Amanda favors your Mom. I will pray that your Mom doesn’t suffer but goes to the Lord easily and painfully.
God Bless~
Debbie
It is hard and sad, and I am praying for you all … Praying you can cherish these last days with her … and that she will have many pain free days ahead.
You know how I feel about this…so I will just say I cannot believe that WE will be elders! I am not ready for that at all. Neither am I ready to say goodbye to your Mom 🙁