Okay romantics, here is a musical interlude for today. A beautiful, heartfelt song. If you have someone that you have been lucky to find along the way, then I know you will relate to this song. Enjoy!
Category: Life
Things Are Looking Up
In the last few days I have begun to feel very lucky and very happy. I suppose a large part of this is the fact that my nose is looking so good. But the other part, is that there seems to be a peace in my life right now, that I have not had since the whole cancer nose thing began.
I was lying in bed last night thinking about our Christmas letter for 2013. So far 2013 has been full of drama, trauma, and sadness, but today, today, I feel like I’ve turned the corner.
Hubby got a glowing report at the doctor’s office when he was in for his physical. He’s been taking insulin shots now for 3 months, and it has been a miracle for him. He feels so much better and has a lot more energy.
My nose is looking better, and my new plastic surgeon is so talented that I believe that in the end my nose will be better than ever!
Although my Mom is still dying from liver cancer, they have accepted her into the Hospice Program, and she will be cared for more humanely and with gentle kindness.
A relief, for sure!
So here we are, half way through the year and things are looking up.
Thursday Thirteen
Here are thirteen things happening right now.
- I had the first reconstruction of my nose done on Monday.
- It’s looking good, but he isn’t kidding about taking things easy.
- I say this because I was doing things around the house today, and my nose began to bleed.
- Doing things too early…bad!
- I lay down in my recliner and pressed the area that was bleeding for 10 minutes.
- It stopped, but when I tried to move again, the bleeding started.
- I think it is a bit more swollen tonight.
- I guess it is to be expected.
- Thank goodness for ice packs and pain medication.
- I am so hopeful, really I am!
- I remind myself over and over…patience!
- Mom will be moved to Hospice Care soon.
- Then I begin the process of saying good-bye and allowing myself to grieve.
Mom, in the center with (from left to right) Me, Melodie, and cousin’s Larry and Janet. This was just in April, before Mom was diagnosed.
Retail Therapy
First, Happy Birthday to my dearest cousin and best friend, Janet!
On Thursday I was in desperate need of a little retail therapy. Before my dental appointment, I stopped by a little shop and I found a cute sun dress. It fits okay, but it will look even better when I get myself going again on Weight Watchers.
There are really no good excuses for me having fallen off the wagon except of the stress I have been under.
The face, my mother’s illness, and the illness of a beloved friend. All have set me back a ways.
Today we learned that Mom is stage 4 Liver Cancer. There is nothing that can be done. No magic pill, or anything that can make her well, nothing that will give her a few more months. It is what it is.
I’ve also felt depressed about my face. Although I know I shouldn’t, I do, and I wonder how long a road I will be on with this.
My friends illness is not for me to talk about here. All I can say is to pray for them. That it is not too late to do something about it.
So this is why I found myself in the boutique downtown trying on this adorable dress. I even found a necklace and earrings to match.
Anneliese got sick after dinner, but we got it cleaned up and I will rest her little belly until the morning. Then it will be a little baby rice cereal. Hopefully that will help her to feel much better.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
Lovely Saturday
Today was a pretty good day, as far as getting things done. I managed laundry, watering the garden, and I’d gotten a little fence that matches the three sides I already have, so this morning I actually installed the fourth side, thus keeping the dackels out of my garden once and for all.
I bought bubble gum the other day and stuck it in the stone wall. I’d read that this will get rid of chipmunk and squirrels, and so far, they have not been eating my garden. I will let you know how that goes.
Mom is in Yale Hospital, and they have her on antibiotics, as she seems to have pneumonia too. They’re managing her pain, and she is very weak. I asked her if she wanted me to come down now and she said she would rather wait until her birthday next week. I told her if she changes her mind to let me know.
Hubby has been busy with his trees thinning fruit. We have an abundant crop this year, and we have learned by bitter experiences that it is better to thin, than to have a fruit tree (particularly peaches) torn asunder!
Saturday was also a picture perfect day. Sunny, warm, but not too hot. A gentle breeze and dry air. If it was like this all summer, I would be a happy girl!
Bye, Bye
Back in 1998 Hubby and I bought a camper to use to see the country. We took many awesome trips across the country, up into the back woods of New Hampshire, and while we built our home, we actually lived in it.
The camper was so comfortable. We outfitted it with blankets and pillows, and dishes and great pots and pans, and a gas oven, and microwave convection oven, Basically, this camper was better equipped than some apartments I have lived in!
So for 15 years we have enjoyed the camper until recently. We had stopped using it, and it was time to sell it.
Hubby was reluctant, but this was the summer I wanted to get things moved around. I wanted our old pick-up sold, the camper sold and gone and then I wanted to organize and lighten our load.
It’s a sad time too, as we look back and recall all the happy times we had in the camper. But, to everything there is a beginning and an end.
So, good bye camper. It was a blast!
Wednesday Hodgepodge
1. When the children of today grow up, what do you think they’ll say about this period in time? What do you most hope they remember?
I hope that like all children in time they will remember the love of their families. I was just thinking about Savannah and how she is such a happy child.
My daughter is a fantastic mother, and Savannah is one of the happiest children that I know.
2. National Teacher’s Day is celebrated in the US of A on the first Tuesday in May, this year May 7th…share how a particular teacher positively impacted you.
Miss Norris, my second grade teacher. She was wonderful and warm, and made me want to learn.
3. What’s a dish your mama made, that if set in front of you today would whisk you right back to childhood?
My mom’s Sauerbraten. I make a fair Sauerbraten myself, but I always think of her when I make it.
4. Mother May I was a game we played when I was growing up…no pieces, parts, or plugs required. What games from childhood do you remember loving that were also pieces, parts, and plug-free?
I loved my Barbie dolls, and made clothes for them out of scrap material. But if we are taking about games, we did used to ride our bikes pretending they were horses, and climb trees, and doing flips and cartwheels and splits on the lawn.
5. Besides your own mother, tell us about a woman who influenced you as a child?
My Grandmother, Mary Francis Daniel Prussman.
She was a ladies, lady and taught me so much.
6. Mamma Mia! What’s the best play or musical you’ve ever seen?
Probably not THE best, but I loved it nonetheless! I love the ABBA music and I thought Meryl Streep was awesome! I also love The Sound of Music! Probably because I played Gretel in our community theater when I was a child!
Yes, that is me age 8 years old playing Gretel.
7. What are three smells that make you feel nostalgic?
Bread baking in the oven, lilacs and baking chocolate chip cookies. As you can see, food smells really dominate my pleasure centers.
8. Insert your own random thought here.
I’m still struggling with my face.
I’ve never been a patient person, and yet it appears I will have to be. Meanwhile, I am returning to Weight Watchers today and plan to get myself physically back in shape!
Friends?
Recently I heard from an old friend. They said they were coming to see me. Since they live a considerable distance, they wanted to know if they could stay here with us for a week.
I was thrilled! I hadn’t seen this person in a few years and I have missed them a lot. So, naturally I was excited.
Here I am, a mere four days from their arrival date and I sent an email asking about the final arrival plans.
That’s when I learned that this person, 1. has no plane ticket, (and worst of all, never did) 2. has no firm plan to arrive in four days, and 3. lied to me about this made up vacation, which hurt most of all.
My feelings were really hurt. Right now a visit from this person would have picked up my spirits! However, I have decided that in the future, if this person would like to come, they will need to prove to me that they are actually coming.
Why do people do stuff like this? I never would. If I ask to come to someone’s house to visit, I would never just not show up or if my plans changed, not let them know.
I guess in some ways it’s better. I’m still recovering, and I would find it hard to have a guest. Still, it would have been great, and perhaps helped me to feel better.
What I Did This Past Weekend
Our host is Gattina. Come join us and tell us what YOU did this past weekend! After all, you never know when you will need an alibi!
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In the last few months I have faced uncharted territory. I figured I had a small and insubstantial cancer, when in fact I have had to switch gears and recognize that in many cases, cancer is cancer and must be fought with every fiber of ones being.
It’s been a real roller coaster ride for me since the day in February when Dr. A called me and told me that the biopsy came back positive.
I thought it meant a quickie surgery, a couple of stitches, and then it would be done.
But then, cancer is cancer, right? Nothing is that simple.
Before I knew it, I had surgery, lost a large portion of my nose and I looked like the elephant man. I went into shock.
And I became depressed.
How can one not get depressed when they are really counting on the happily ever after and suddenly have to face the fact that it will be a long road.
For a while I couldn’t even think of my summer garden. I’ve had one for years and enjoyed it so much. But this year, it seemed like more than I could think of.
Then a few days before my latest surgery we were shopping in Walmart and I was in the garden center when I saw a seed section. My mind began to think about the joy, the love I have with growing our vegetables.
So, I went over and started grabbing packets of seeds. Hubby got me some wonderful soil and we came home.
I knew all my supplies were there, I just needed to sit down and do it.
So, on Sunday, I went out and while listening to my MP3 player, and with the company of my dogs, I started all my seeds (except my peas and beans, which I plant right in the ground).
You see, a garden is life’s way of giving me hope. Hope for a complete recovery, hope for a future of health and happiness.
As I potted the soil and put in the seeds I laughed, smiled and a tear fell from my eyes. One day I want to teach Savannah all about planting a garden. I want her to see how wonderful it is to plant a seed and watch it grow into something you can eat!
Back To Life
It’s a sad day when one starts out having to pray for the innocent people who suffered and the two who died during yesterday’s bombing at the Boston Marathon. I lived outside of Boston for a few years, so I am really familiar with the area. Two of my eye surgeries were done at Tufts New England Medical Center, where they brought some of the injured.
One of those killed was an eight year old child. Out to watch the race with family. Now life, cut short. Heart breakingly short.
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Getting back to the struggles of my usual life after the warm and wonderful wedding is like being slapped by a cold fish.
When we arrived home on Saturday night, I raced to my laptop to download pictures from my camera, so I could send them to my sister.
But when I turned things on…nothing. By this I mean that we had no Internet service. Now, our router is dying and will be replaced soon, but this was different. Me, and every other Metrocast subscriber had no service. It seems some drunk, on their way home from a bar, had hit a phone pole and taken down all the wires, and my Internet service!
Now, I am as sympathetic as any other person will be when some one has an accident, just not a drunk driving accident, and I am equally unsympathetic when said drunk driving accident interrupts my Internet service!
An hour later, service is restored and my pictures are quickly uploaded to Facebook, where my entire family can enjoy them.
On Sunday night I fell asleep early and was in a deep REM sleep dreaming when I moved my arms around and smacked myself in the nose. Needless to say I woke up instantly and have been in pain ever since.
I can, however, happily report that my nose graft looks very healthy and pink. I think the skin is actually firmly rooted on my nose and growing there
As I mentioned, the router is dying, and on Monday I had to have my service provider help me revive it, yet again. I am hopeful that the new one I ordered will arrive within a week and then my cousin will come up with his girlfriend for a weekend of visiting, computers and cooking.
Hubby and I have decided that tomorrow will be shopping day. We will go and stock up for the next few weeks. After all, a week from today I have the next part of my surgery and become a normal looking person again!
Yay! Just one more week!!!