Positive Defeats Negative

As you all know, a few weeks back, I returned to Weight Watchers and started to follow the Simple Start plan. I love it! I’ve found it easy to follow, and have lost quite a bit of weight.

In fact, yesterday I was running around the house doing various things and my “fat” shorts fell off me! Thus making me feel good and also making me anxious for Wednesday when I can weigh in.

I’ve been really working at staying positive in my mind. You see the depression monster came to visit a few weeks back and I’ve had one heck of a time, but I refuse to give in.

This week I have two thing I really want to do. Get my hair done and go to Market Basket and shop! The employees and customers won and Artie T. DeMoulas is back as CEO!

Positive thinking! Yes that’s how I will start and finish each day!

Broken

My glasses broke today! I think they can be fixed, but for now I am back in my old ones until I can either get my glasses fixed or get a new pair.

Here I am in my regular glasses.

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And here I am in my old glasses.
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I like the new glasses better because I have a wider peripheral field of vision. This means I must get myself down to the eye glasses shop and get these glasses repaired. You know, I am noticing that my old glasses are more comfortable. Hmmmmmm. Maybe I should wear these for a while and see how thesy feel on my new nose.

I’ve decided that my life is too busy right now. I get up every morning early due to Lili, and then it seems that there is no rest for the wicked, as Lili keeps me running in and out and in and out all day.

It is also harvesting season and I am cooking up a storm and freezing spaghetti sauce, and very soon I will be making jams.

There is also Lili’s eating schedule/medications/walks. Add to that Hubby’s eating schedule/medications and his harvest time.

So life is busy. Tonight as I walked up the cellar stairs after freezing more spaghetti sauce, I felt so, very, tired. My legs were like lead!

The driveway gets sealed tomorrow and so our cars are parked up at our neighbors. So, yes, we have to walk up hill to go anywhere. I wonder if I can just stay home for a few days!

Grateful

I’ve been thinking about life a lot lately. How things in life during your adult years are not really what you thought they would be when you were a child.

I thought that when I grew up I would be totally autonomous. Able to do what I want, when I want, and not be encumbered by the craziness and the rules of life.

But that isn’t how it is. In fact I think there are even more rules! I can’t just do what I’d like, when I want. I cannot eat what I want any more ether. Post menopause finds me looking at food and gaining weight.

I work at following Weight Watchers and I am losing, but the loss is slow and when I see myself in pictures I still feel fat.

In my youth I enjoyed riding my bike and running wild around Falmouth, Massachusetts where I grew up.

And I never worried about being kidnapped or anything. Life was simple. I was in marvelous shape, and had a great tan.

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Well now at 55, the tan part has come back to haunt me, but the 12 year old child didn’t know that.

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Yes, if I could go back in time, I would tell that child about skin cancer and maybe avoid all that I have lived through in the future.

In youth the biggest heart break is perhaps losing a beloved pet, or moving away. Although I know of many people who have lost parents and siblings. And surely that is earth shattering for a child.

My biggest heart breaks came in my twenties, and I think, although I will never totally recover, I have managed to go on.

Yes, life is not what I expected, but then the blessings of my daughter, Mandy and granddaughter Savannah, leaves me forever grateful to God.

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Dear Blog Friends,

I am so sorry that I have been among the missing this spring. With the loss of our dog, Fritz, brought a deep sadness. Such as I have never felt before.

Then we got Lili, and it has been a terrible nightmare. At first I thought it was behavioural only, but when I realized how sick she is, I knew that this was affecting her personality.

The summer has been flying by and I feel I have gotten very little done. Just in the last week or so, I have forced myself to do pickles twice and actually on Monday I will be making bread and butter pickles.

Soon the peaches will be in, and I will be very busy. I would like to make 4 batches of peach jam.

Still, I have not seen Savannah as much as I would like, nor have I gotten to the beach, which was something I really wanted to do.

So, gentle reader, I will try to pick myself up and go on, not allowing this depression to get me down too much.

Thoughts

Today was “fun cooking day”. This means that everything I cooked was fun both to prepare and to eat! I even prepared a super stupendous fruit salad that I will be eating over the next week.

Tomorrow I make Hubby’s Cabbage Soup and potato salad. I need to roast more zucchini too.

The garden, although I got a late start, has been an amazing producer. Particularly the zucchini!

I took a show on Wednesday morning and when I came out and was drying off, I noticed a dot of skin near my original cancer sight was bleeding. This is not good news and actually scary news. Luckily, I go to see the Dermatologist next week.

Lili is still sick, and right now we are waiting to get the first round of test results back. I sure hope this is nothing serious.

I feel like life is rushing by me again. I truly need for it to slow down a little.

Cookin’

Saturday was another busy day for me. Lately my days all begin with cleaning the puppy room. My little Lili has been having a rough time, and on Monday will be going back in to see her doctor. After that, I imagine testing will be done, but our poor little puppy is one sick girl.

She is settling in though. She comes to Hubby and I for comfort, and she is getting along with the other dogs much better. It just breaks my heart to see her so ill.

Today was a cooking day for me. I literally started cooking at 10 AM and didn’t stop until after 8 o’clock PM. Needless to say, I am beat!

Hubby keeps asking me why I am in bed at night by 9 PM? Well, between putting up the veggies from our garden, taking car of the dogs, and cooking three meals a day (oh yeah, and cleaning them up), I get tired! I’m not as young as I used to be!

Hubby is doing well. Although I look at his face and nearly faint. I’m wishy washy like that. Now if it was me, I’d do much better, but seeing him with a bloody cheek and shoulder, and honestly, I almost swoon!

Night all, it another 9 PM bedtime for me!

A Three Year Old’s Memory

Growing up I was pretty much of a Tom-boy. I loved to climb trees, ride bikes, play in the dirt with Tonka Trucks and run around our neighborhood like a little street urchin.

I remember the day my mother had enough of trying to keep my hair snarl free, and she took her sheers and chopped off my hair into a very short pixie cut! (See, I was ahead of my time!)

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But Grandma and Dad both didn’t like it, and so my hair was left to grow out.

Just before my fourth birthday, I was supposed to be a flower girl in a wedding, instead I got appendicitis! I was rushed to Falmouth Hospital and operated on.

I remember waking up in the night with terrible stomach pain! I made my way into my parent’s bedroom and I remember being laid on their bed. My legs were tight to my chest. When Dad tried to pull them down, they snapped up so fast I think I might even have hit him!

Off we drove to the hospital and my Dad drove the wrong way and ended up going to the Community Theater! Eventually we made it, and Dr. Wessling removed my appendix.

All I remember about all of that was, he was nice and the ether smelled terrible!

I remember looking through the bars of my hospital cot to watch “Captain Kangaroo” and “Bozo the Clown”. I think I was in the hospital for a week.

My sister was not allowed to come up. She was beside herself with worry! So, my parents thought it was wrong to keep us apart and they snuck her up to pediatrics so Melodie could see me.

I was given all sorts of presents while I was in the hospital. I think Digger the Dog was my favorite.

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The only problem was, that by the time my birthday rolled around, I’d gotten all the gifts.

I remember coming home and going up the stairs to my room when I slipped on the steps and fell. I cried out to my mother, “Oh no! I’m bleeding!”

My poor mother came running, thinking my stitches had ruptured, only to find I had cut my finger!

Somehow Mom managed to make a party for my birthday a few weeks later in November. And magically, there were presents for me too.

All this from the earliest memories in my mind. I do admit to fact checking one part, but everything else was accurate.

Amazing what a three and a half year old can remember!

Weight Watchers

Well, yesterday at Weight Watchers was thrilling. I’ve really been working their Simple Start Program and yesterday I lost two and a half pounds!

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The plan is easy to follow and I finally have my head in the right place. I know I cannot eat anything and lose weight. I must eat good whole foods and watch my portion size.

You know it was nearly five years ago that I actually reached my goal. Then life happened, and I was not being truthful with myself, and I will now admit that I gained it all back.

So now I am on the road. I do not know how long it will take me to get back to my goal, but that isn’t important. What is important is that I have learned from this and I will not let anything let me stop from succeeding on the plan this time.

Rainbow Girls

I was a member of The Rainbow Girls when I was growing up. Everyone (or just about) in my family had been involved in the Masons, Eastern Star and the Rainbow Girls. In our local chapter of Rainbow, my sister Melodie even went throught and became Worthy Advisor.

I never really got on too well with the Advisory Board, and so the farthest I ever got was Secretary. Each year a girl was selected to represent our group in Boston for The Rainbow Ball. A beauty contest.

My sister Melodie was selected a couple of times, but she was happy just to go. She was adorable and I certainly would have picked her!

Anyway the year I turned 16, no one else was going from our Assembly, so they said I could go and represent the group.

When we checked in at the event in Boston, I got my number. It was 13! I remember thinking that there was no way on God’s Earth that I would win.

I wasn’t all that pretty, and with a number like 13 (bad karma) I should just forget it. But here I was and when they called everyone up to do the grand March, my former husband (and date that night) got in line.

I was wearing a dress that my Mom had made, my sister helped with my hair and my make-up and I had a wrist corsage.

We walked and paraded, and the line kept being thinned. It got down to about a dozen of us, and then they called the winning number.

Mine!

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I was so surprised and happy. It was the one thing I had managed to do in Rainbow that no one from our Assebly was able to do.

Of course my ex-husband still contends that it was because he was my escort that night. All I do know it that we did it! I did it!