Category: My Life

I’ve been thinking about life a lot lately. How things in life during your adult years are not really what you thought they would be when you were a child.

I thought that when I grew up I would be totally autonomous. Able to do what I want, when I want, and not be encumbered by the craziness and the rules of life.

But that isn’t how it is. In fact I think there are even more rules! I can’t just do what I’d like, when I want. I cannot eat what I want any more ether. Post menopause finds me looking at food and gaining weight.

I work at following Weight Watchers and I am losing, but the loss is slow and when I see myself in pictures I still feel fat.

In my youth I enjoyed riding my bike and running wild around Falmouth, Massachusetts where I grew up.

And I never worried about being kidnapped or anything. Life was simple. I was in marvelous shape, and had a great tan.

Well now at 55, the tan part has come back to haunt me, but the 12 year old child didn’t know that.

Yes, if I could go back in time, I would tell that child about skin cancer and maybe avoid all that I have lived through in the future.

In youth the biggest heart break is perhaps losing a beloved pet, or moving away. Although I know of many people who have lost parents and siblings. And surely that is earth shattering for a child.

My biggest heart breaks came in my twenties, and I think, although I will never totally recover, I have managed to go on.

Yes, life is not what I expected, but then the blessings of my daughter, Mandy and granddaughter Savannah, leaves me forever grateful to God.

Dear Blog Friends,

I am so sorry that I have been among the missing this spring. With the loss of our dog, Fritz, brought a deep sadness. Such as I have never felt before.

Then we got Lili, and it has been a terrible nightmare. At first I thought it was behavioural only, but when I realized how sick she is, I knew that this was affecting her personality.

The summer has been flying by and I feel I have gotten very little done. Just in the last week or so, I have forced myself to do pickles twice and actually on Monday I will be making bread and butter pickles.

Soon the peaches will be in, and I will be very busy. I would like to make 4 batches of peach jam.

Still, I have not seen Savannah as much as I would like, nor have I gotten to the beach, which was something I really wanted to do.

So, gentle reader, I will try to pick myself up and go on, not allowing this depression to get me down too much.

Growing up I was pretty much of a Tom-boy. I loved to climb trees, ride bikes, play in the dirt with Tonka Trucks and run around our neighborhood like a little street urchin.

I remember the day my mother had enough of trying to keep my hair snarl free, and she took her sheers and chopped off my hair into a very short pixie cut! (See, I was ahead of my time!)

But Grandma and Dad both didn’t like it, and so my hair was left to grow out.

Just before my fourth birthday, I was supposed to be a flower girl in a wedding, instead I got appendicitis! I was rushed to Falmouth Hospital and operated on.

I remember waking up in the night with terrible stomach pain! I made my way into my parent’s bedroom and I remember being laid on their bed. My legs were tight to my chest. When Dad tried to pull them down, they snapped up so fast I think I might even have hit him!

Off we drove to the hospital and my Dad drove the wrong way and ended up going to the Community Theater! Eventually we made it, and Dr. Wessling removed my appendix.

All I remember about all of that was, he was nice and the ether smelled terrible!

I remember looking through the bars of my hospital cot to watch “Captain Kangaroo” and “Bozo the Clown”. I think I was in the hospital for a week.

My sister was not allowed to come up. She was beside herself with worry! So, my parents thought it was wrong to keep us apart and they snuck her up to pediatrics so Melodie could see me.

I was given all sorts of presents while I was in the hospital. I think Digger the Dog was my favorite.

The only problem was, that by the time my birthday rolled around, I’d gotten all the gifts.

I remember coming home and going up the stairs to my room when I slipped on the steps and fell. I cried out to my mother, “Oh no! I’m bleeding!”

My poor mother came running, thinking my stitches had ruptured, only to find I had cut my finger!

Somehow Mom managed to make a party for my birthday a few weeks later in November. And magically, there were presents for me too.

All this from the earliest memories in my mind. I do admit to fact checking one part, but everything else was accurate.

Amazing what a three and a half year old can remember!

Well, yesterday at Weight Watchers was thrilling. I’ve really been working their Simple Start Program and yesterday I lost two and a half pounds!

The plan is easy to follow and I finally have my head in the right place. I know I cannot eat anything and lose weight. I must eat good whole foods and watch my portion size.

You know it was nearly five years ago that I actually reached my goal. Then life happened, and I was not being truthful with myself, and I will now admit that I gained it all back.

So now I am on the road. I do not know how long it will take me to get back to my goal, but that isn’t important. What is important is that I have learned from this and I will not let anything let me stop from succeeding on the plan this time.

I was a member of The Rainbow Girls when I was growing up. Everyone (or just about) in my family had been involved in the Masons, Eastern Star and the Rainbow Girls. In our local chapter of Rainbow, my sister Melodie even went throught and became Worthy Advisor.

I never really got on too well with the Advisory Board, and so the farthest I ever got was Secretary. Each year a girl was selected to represent our group in Boston for The Rainbow Ball. A beauty contest.

My sister Melodie was selected a couple of times, but she was happy just to go. She was adorable and I certainly would have picked her!

Anyway the year I turned 16, no one else was going from our Assembly, so they said I could go and represent the group.

When we checked in at the event in Boston, I got my number. It was 13! I remember thinking that there was no way on God’s Earth that I would win.

I wasn’t all that pretty, and with a number like 13 (bad karma) I should just forget it. But here I was and when they called everyone up to do the grand March, my former husband (and date that night) got in line.

I was wearing a dress that my Mom had made, my sister helped with my hair and my make-up and I had a wrist corsage.

We walked and paraded, and the line kept being thinned. It got down to about a dozen of us, and then they called the winning number.

Mine!

I was so surprised and happy. It was the one thing I had managed to do in Rainbow that no one from our Assebly was able to do.

Of course my ex-husband still contends that it was because he was my escort that night. All I do know it that we did it! I did it!

I’ve been thinking a lot about the journey I have been on since my own facial cancer surgery and the plastic surgery after. What I am about to confess here may seem stuck up, but after some real soul searching, I am only just now, starting to understand the dynamics of why I have been so shaken by all of this.

You see, back as a child and a teen I felt very confident in my body and of my appearance. As a little kid I practiced how to smile for pictures and it’s hard to find any bad pictures of me.

Of course my daughter is funny because she could always tell the real smiles from the fake ones.

When I was about 15 my grandmother took me aside.

I sure loved my Grandma Honey!

She told me that I was a beauty for sure, now, but beauty is short lived. One must work hard to be a good person, inside and out!

I didn’t really understand then, what she was saying. Certainly if one did all the right things they could keep the clock from ticking away at their looks.

No one ever told me that Mother Nature could jump in and have her way with my face, leaving me to discover, it is time to find my inner beauty.

Well, I have to tell you, it isn’t easy. Being pretty was the easy stuff. You just were. Now I am trying to figure it all out.

I’ve gone back to Weight Watchers after a catstophic weight gain last year. But I still feel bad when I look in the mirror that this unprepared woman, must find her inner beauty or forever be lost.

Janet and Dave came up to celebrate the 4th of July!

Today went very well. I had everything ready for us to sit down and eat by 1 PM, and you should have seen this one lobster! It was huge and ugly! I took it because I

was not sure how it would taste. The shell on it was so thick and hard! I swear it was horrible!

Well, I am 55 years old and I have to say this is the first bad lobster I have ever had! The meat was old tasting and tough and not sweet and lovely. I was so disappointed. Everyone else had a good tasting lobster.

I just never knew there was such a thing as a bad lobster!

Oh well, the corn was good, the potatoes were good and the fruit salad was great. I just should have had that!

I did all the weeding in the garden, on Sunday morning. I still have a bit left to do, but not too much. At the end, it was getting hot, and I figured that tomorrow was another day and I could finish then!

I showered and went to the Grand Opening of CruConCruiseOutlet which was very exciting. They started out just a few employees and now they have moved into their new building, where they will employ over 100 people! I’ve known the owner for a few years. I met her through my late hair stylist Margarita. I felt today, I needed to go and show my support. However, it was wild! The place was mobbed and although there was plenty of freebies to be had, the cake was gone! That was good, I didn’t have to make up my mind if I was going to have any or not.

I came back to vacuum and change sheets, when suddenly it hits me…my shoulders and back are a little bit sore! Made me laugh at myself! I’m not the sweet young thing I once was!

As I was preparing our dinner tonight, I also sat down and chopped up vegetables for my Cabbage Soup. Hubby loves this soup, and the link will take you to the recipe.

Dinner was good, Steak, baked potatoes and my favorite seasonal vegetable, Corn on the Cob!

Then I decided to take the pups up to see our neighbor. All was going well, although it’s rather crazy with 4 dogs, when I see a little boy running down the hill towards us. His name is Jack and he is 6 years old and although he loves dogs, he has no ideal how to act with a puppy.

I quickly got Lili, Greta and Arnie home, but that little bugger, Anneliese, headed to Jack’s family’s rental cottage!

Lately it seems I get to 9 PM and I am simply exhausted! So it is again tonight. Off to bed I go!