In just over a month I will celebrate my sixty-second birthday! I’m thrilled to death. Many people I know have long since stopped counting birthdays and groan when their day arrives. Not me! Here is why.
I never felt good in my skin. I was so insecure. I didn’t really know myself and my reality is that I married far too young, finding my only value as a wife and a mom. But let’s face it. Getting married at 17 is a crazy thing, and I had no business doing that. The divorce broke me and the entire thing was just plain bad. I’m fortunate to have mended fences with my former husband, who I now count as one of my friends.
Feeling I had no self-worth after the divorce, I married my friend. I was the Captain’s Wife and tried to find my value and self-worth there. I’ve been the Captain’s Wife now for 33 years. But over the last ten years, I have discovered something really amazing.
I am truly a unique and loving woman of great value and it is not tied to anyone but myself.
You see, I learned that I needed to develop my own personality, I needed to grow and find my own way in this world, and as I approach the age of 62, I can look at that woman in the mirror each morning and smile.
Oh, I am not perfect, and I still have a ton of flaws, but you know, I have learned to love with my whole heart and after a lifetime of not listening, I have closed my mouth and opened my eyes and ears.
I also have discovered what having friends is all about. I was not always the best of friends with people. I tried, but seeing as I felt little self-worth, I did not feel I had much to offer.
When WW dispanded up here, the back row crew just couldn’t survive without each other. There are twelve of us, who meet each week, and we sit socially distanced in a parking lot, and go over the important things in our lives and in our weight-loss goals. It’s getting cold, but we are still meeting!
When I arrived last Wednesday, I looked at these beautiful women and I said, “You know ladies, I just love US!” And I really do.
It’s my hope that in the years I have left on this earth, that I will be able to love, share, and offer a shoulder to those who need it.
You one year junior to me and you have lived a far more interesting life. You have a daughter who loves you, nice sisters and great grandkiiddies. Am I envious? No. Do I think you have done well in life? Yes.
I’m 60 years old. We’ve had very different life experiences. My mother set an example — she was married to my father for over 50 years, but she always had an identity separate and apart from being a wife and mother. I didn’t get married until I was 27 and established in my career. When I got divorced 7 years later, I knew I could stand on my own.
I am glad you found your voice and your identity. It’s just so important to be who you are. Life throws a lot at us (I don’t need to tell you that, you know better than I do) and if you are secure in who you are, you’ll be ok.