Ah, so you haven’t heard from me about my “Healthy Eating Plan” for a while. So I thought I would write and tell you a little bit about what has been going on.

A lot of people tell me that they over-eat when they are happy or sad, celebrating, or grieving. But you know, I am not really like that. If life is going along well, I find eating what I should is easy for me. Mostly because I really enjoy all the “good” foods, like vegetables, fish and poultry.

My problem is when I am grieving. Then I find all I want to eat are sweets, carbs, and sugar!

I’d been doing pretty well until my birthday in November. That’s when I allowed sugar back into my life. Never a good thing. Christmas came and New Years’ too.

Then, in January, Anneliese became very ill and I knew her time with me was limited. Even before she left me, I was grieving for her.

The day arrived and I drove her out to our Vets for the last time. I was alone with her that one last time, and then I held her while she left me, and I drove home, alone.

My eating became erratic and before I knew it, things with my diet were not going well.

My friend passed away on April first and I was still drowning myself with food.

Did it help? Not really, but for those moments when I was eating there was almost a calmness that came over me. Or so I thought.

Then I sat myself down and had a long talk with myself. Was this accomplishing anything? Was it really making me “happy“, or was this making my depression even worse?

I went grocery shopping. I bought fruit, vegetables, some fish and some poultry. I also did not buy any item that was over 1-2 points. Mostly I stayed in the Produce and Meat Section of the store, but I did shop for some frozen vegetables. I especially enjoy the riced cauliflower.

I’ve had a constant conversation with myself this week. Who can make this “Healthy Eating Plan” work? ME! Who can sabotage my efforts with this Plan? Also me. So at 62, I decided it was time to stop playing emotional games with food and hold myself accountable for what I was eating and doing with my life.

I really want to do this, and the only way to do it is, to be honest with myself and work every day to make myself healthy and well!

Maribeth Dackel

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