Memories on Saturday Morning

Mostly I do very well. I try not to dwell on the accident, and the greatest loss of my life, the death of my six-year-old daughter.

Oh, I miss her like crazy, but in order to go forward in my life, I had to put all those emotions and feelings in a box and place them in a storage unit on a shelf in my mind.

Katie was a sweet and loving child. She was quick with a smile and her laughter put a smile on my face.

She had a kind heart and loved her family deeply, especially Amanda. She was a good friend to many.


I wasn’t thinking about her, at least not actively, when I was out the other day. I was driving around doing errands and as I slowly drove down Main Street, I saw a little red-haired girl, skipping down the street, laughing and holding the hand of her mother. As she skipped, her red curls bounced around her head.

For just a moment I was taken back in time. I could see Katie in my mind, doing the same thing with me.


The mist of time was all around me and I could feel Katie with me. I slowed my car, and looked to see if, if, …

This was all for a split second or two and then the feeling left me, as I could quite plainly see,  this was not Katie.

That’s when I recalled that for the first few months, years, I used to search for Katie in large crowds. Part of me not wanting to believe she was really gone.


This has been on my mind the last few days as I wondered if I should share this story on my Blog. I have only written about Katie on the anniversary of her birth and death. But this does happen occasionally to me and it breaks my heart all over again.

When I lost my dearest friend, Candy, I sat holding her hand and when we talked about the end of her life, I told her that real love never dies. I truly believe this.

I guess for me, for the part of me that still yearns for my little girl, I still feel all that love, and I guess I see her in my mind’s eye.


One day I know, we will be together again. After all, real love never dies.


5 thoughts on “Memories on Saturday Morning”

  1. That’s a real sad post ! I also sometimes I have to write it down what I feel, that does good ! Maybe it’s a good thing if you see little red haired girls looking like Katie ! I never really good over the death of my best friend in 2009. Sometimes I pick up the phone and want to call her and then suddenly I realize she is not here anymore !

  2. I look at the photos of your two girls and I see my own daughters. And I cannot imagine the pain you must feel. I admire your strength and your ability to move forward after your tragic loss. They say you never get over such a loss, but you do get past it.

    Real love endures. And someday you and Katie will be together again.

  3. Oh Maribeth. I am just sending you the biggest hug today. Real love endures and I so admire your strength in putting one foot in front of the other, and also your courage, particularly in sometimes opening up the box you keep a lid on. Take care xo

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