Just when I thought that life could not possibly get any more interesting, I found myself living through the last four days. I’m actually thinking that perhaps we should fast forward and get through 2009 quickly before anything else happens! Let me explain.
On Saturday late in the evening Hubby exhibited all the symptoms of a small stroke. It was there for a few minutes and then he seemed fine. Tired, but fine. I forced him to come to bed early and all seemed well.
Sunday he lazed around and rested. I watched him like crazy, but he really seemed just fine. I was determined however, to get him into the doctor’s office as soon as I could.
Monday I woke up to find him out the door going skiing! I wasn’t happy about this, but off he went. He was home by noon, as the conditions were not the best.
Monday night after dinner, we were sitting watching the TV when Hubby exhibited classic symptoms of a stroke, only this time it did not resolve and were more severe. I dressed quickly, got Hubby into his clothes and into the car and raced drove the car down the eight and a half miles to the local hospital.
He was quickly admitted and testing began. CAT scans, blood tests, everything you could think. All the while, I sat and paced, nearly unable to breathe. I felt like a deer standing still in the headlights of a car! Trapped. Fear causing me to be unable to move or make things better. At midnight they determined that they needed to keep him overnight to continue drug therapy and testing, so I kissed Hubby and left.
I got to my car and sat there, exhausted. I picked up my cell phone and called my friend, Gail and she talked me up the road to my home. I have to say that driving eight and a half miles when you are this exhausted would have been impossible if it hadn’t been for her. Thanks Gail!
I slept for a few hours and then woke with a start! I got up, turned on the coffee and called the hospital to check on Hubby’s condition. All was stable. I called a few people, then I sat and just stared into space. I prayed.
I know I write quite often, joking about Hubby, but this man, this wonderful man that I have been married to for nearly 21 years, is the most important man in my life. He’s my best friend, my husband, and my lover. I simply cannot think about life without him in it!
Today I spent the entire day racing back and forth up and down that same road between our home and the hospital. I sat on Hubby’s bed and held him, raced home, and walked the dogs. Then I was back to the hospital and was trying to learn as much as I could about Hubby’s condition. It was indeed a stroke.
Later in the day I saw a surgeon. I have not felt well since before Christmas and today I learned that I have an ovarian cyst and will need surgery soon to have the ovary and cyst removed. Things like that I can handle, but not stuff happening to my guy.
My sister called late in the day to tell me that my Dad has been diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndromes (MDS, formerly known as “preleukemia”). He is quite old and hasn’t been well for a long time, and although I am not surprised by this it still saddens me.
Too much right now, Gentle Readers. It’s all feeling like it is too much. I told Mel that I felt so tired. So very tired.
Then Hubby called and he had gotten the doctor’s to release him. I drove down the same road and picked him up. I loaded him, with his things and drove immediately to a pharmacy. I seemed to be purchasing the entire store, but soon was back in the car, prescriptions in hand, and drove Hubby back home.
We’re sitting here in our pajamas now. Both of us feeling exahusted and weary. Time, dear friends. It can be your friend, filling your life with fun and frivolity, or it can be your enemy, making the time drag by and filling those hours with real unhappiness, tension and illness.
