Memories – Page 6 – The Dackel Princess

My Mom

My Mom passed away five years ago today.

Rosamond Ruth, my Mom.

In life, ours was a very complicated relationship. However, with her illness and then passing, so much of the bitterness was forgiven, and in the end, there was only love.

Now five years later, I find many moments where I miss my Mom. I wish I could call her, and hear her voice. There were so many times where I would call her and say, “Mom, just say it’s okay” and she would, then she asked what was up.

As a small child, I recall sitting in her lap and holding her hand up to my lips. Not that I was kissing it, but just having her touch me, calmed me down. She was so beautiful, and yet, I do not think she ever knew that. But just look at the picture below, taken when she was maybe 40 years old.

I remember her sitting and listening to me when I had voice lessons. I was singing in Italian, and she loved that. Me? Not so much. But I sang and she was happy.

Mom loved her family. Her pocketbook weighed a ton. Why? Because she had pictures of each and every one of us in her bag. Not just to show to other people, but more than once I caught her looking them over. She etched the faces of each and every one of us in her memory.

Me, Mom and Mel.

When Mom was dying of cancer, I got out all of the old slides. I scanned in pictures of all of her loved ones Past and present. I made up a slideshow on my laptop for her, so she could revisit each one of those moments. Mel, Janet and I played it for her at the Hospice. She loved that.

Amanda brought baby Savannah down, and Mom got to see her Great-granddaughter one last time. Oh, how she adored Savi and the thought that another generation of girls in her family would go on.

Mom has two grandchildren that she never got to meet. April and Quinn. No doubt, Mom would have loved them as she loved us all. I’m sorry she didn’t get to see them. They’re such beautiful and happy children.

The last day I was with her, she was mostly drifting in and out. At one point I thought she was asleep, and I told her all the things I wanted to say to her. I had hoped she heard me, where ever she was at that moment. I told her that I loved her so much.

She spoke quietly, slowly, and softly. “I’m here. And I love you too”.

Memories From My Youth

I was thinking about family recently. Growing up, I recall that my mother’s family got together a lot. When I was very young, we all met up at my Grandmother’s House in Brighton, Massachusetts. She had a three-story home, that at one time or another had housed Grandma and PapaFred; her parents; her sister, Tilly, and Tilly’s son, George; Papa Fred’s sister, Hedwig and her husband Abert; my Mom and Dad; and my Uncle Bob and his wife Cynthia and their two children Carl and Erica.

Now, these people all passed through the house at one time or another, never all at once, but somehow, Murdock Street was the home base for many years.

Family always gathered at Grandma’s house to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. It was always so much fun. Good food, a lot of laughs, and a lot of hugs. My memories of those long-ago days are still very strong. I recall each family member, be they my Mom’s brother and his family, or all of Papa Fred’s family, as he had many brothers and sisters.

Papa had a heart attack when I was about 10 years old and Grandma and Papa move closer to us in Falmouth, on Cape Cod. They moved three streets away from us, and I remember running through the woods to their house. The door was always open and they were always happy to see me.

Grandma Honey & Papa Fred

The family parties continued, although I admit, they’d gotten smaller because slowly, the family was dying off. Papa was the youngest in his family and I recall his brothers and sisters passing early on. All except the eldest in the family, Hedwig, and she lived to be very, very, old.

In any case, after a few years, Grandma and Papa needed more help and so they bought a house with my Mom and Dad. It was a beautiful big home. Which meant, the family parties continued.

It was great because All the cousins were getting married and having children, and suddenly the parties were filled with babies, toddlers, and children! There was a small lake down the road and in the summer, during the cookouts, this meant swimming times too!

When parties were planned, everyone came. They came to see Grandma. She really loved family and would plan everything and call everyone. Mom would do most of the cooking, with Uncle Betty by her side, and Uncle George and my Dad were great at flipping burgers and hotdogs.

I can still taste my Mom’s potato salad! And why is it that the watermelon tasted so much better when we were all sitting on the fence spitting seeds?

I miss those days. I miss all those people. I miss the family gatherings when we all were together. They do not happen anymore. My sister Melodie and one cousin, Janet and I get together twice a year. But gone are the days of those big family gatherings.

Right now I am trying to establish a time each summer when I share beach time with my grandchildren. I want them to have the Cape Cod experience. I want them to know salty air, sunsets into the ocean and cookouts that last forever. I want them to spit watermelon seeds while they’re sitting on a fence and Dairy Queen runs on a hot summer night!

So many wonderful memories of my own childhood.

The Men In My Life

Here are the five men, who shaped my life. In their own ways, they were my father or a father figure to me. They have all passed from this life to the next, but their memory and the love they gave me, lives on in my heart

My Dad. He was an amazingly talented musician and he passed along his love of music to me. Dad was devoted to our community. He played the organ at both the Congregational Church and the Catholic Church in North Falmouth.

He was the Music Director at Highfield Theater for many years. He also was a summer police officer in our town. And when we went to local parks for cook-outs, Dad was the burger-meister! He has been gone a long time now, but I still think of him often and miss his wry sense of humour.

My Uncle George. He was the father who taught me everything growing up. How to swim, how to dive, how to bowl, how to hike, how to play cards, and how to love unconditionally.

When I was about 7 years old I cut my toe badly at the beach and he carried me all the way home! And helped Mom drive me to the doctor’s office for stitches. He was not a loud man, but in his quiet loving way, I just knew that I was one of his special kids. In fact, when Hubby and I married, Uncle George walked me down the aisle. I miss this sweet, loving, wonderful man!

My Uncle Bob. He was fun to be with. But, he required that I act like a mini adult too. That was fine. I adored him and just wanted to spend time, quiet time, with him.

I did a lot of things with him and his wife, Auntie Cynthia. I remember being on his boat, or when they took me to their home in Quincy and to museums. And I recall my Uncle once got a monkey. Cute, but it didn’t last for long.

My Papa Fred. Another quiet man, who was quite old when I lived with him and Grandma. But he showed me something important.

What real love between a man and woman was all about. I would watch Papa and Grandma sitting on their sofa watching Lawrence Welk. Papa would hold Grandma’s feet in his lap and stroke them gently. He simply adored Grandma and had all of his life. When she died, he no longer had the will to live and passed eight months later.

My Papa Sam, my Dad’s Dad. I didn’t know him as well, but I remember him taking me to the Prudential Building in the summer to listen to the Barbershop Quartets sing.

I remember sitting on his lap and listening to him sing along. He had such a beautiful voice.

These 5 men helped to shape the woman I grew up to become. Each special in their own way, and now, each greatly missed.

Happy Father’s Day! I remember you all with love and many memories that make me smile!

In Memoriam

Today is the thirty-third anniversary of the accident that took my beloved daughter, Katie from our lives. Many years ago I wrote about the accident, and the things I could recall. You can read that post HERE.

The 13th of June is a somber day for me. and I think it always will be. At this point in life, I get quite angry that Katie did not live to grow up. Never knew her first love, went to a Prom, had children, or could be whatever it was that she wanted to be in this life. It was all taken from her, and from those of us, that love her.

Below you will find a montage of pictures of my darling little girl. While putting this together, I was struck by the fact that one of the hardest things as a parent is when you realize that a certain picture of your child, is the very last picture you have.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
‘Cause I know I don’t belong here in heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way through night and day
‘Cause I know I just can’t stay here in heaven
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging, please
Beyond the door, there’s peace I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
‘Cause I know I don’t belong here in heaven

Clipper Lane

I was thinking about my childhood the other day, and I was recalling my childhood home on Clipper Lane. This was the house my parents brought me home to when I was born. It is where I spent the first ten years of my life. Even now, when I think of places that I felt really grounded and safe, Clipper Lane is at the top of the list.

Whenever I go back to Falmouth, I always go by and say hello to my old homestead. It is still there and the new family that lives there loves my old home too, and take very good care of it.

This house is a five-minute walk from the beach, and a five-minute walk in the opposite direction takes you into town. The perfect place.

I guess that was why, when my parents decided to sell it and move to the other side of town, I was really devastated. I remember feeling like my entire world had been turned upside down. Which, looking back wasn’t true because we were moving 2.7 miles away from my much-loved home on Clipper Lane. But to me, it was the end of the world!

I had to start in a new school, meet new kids, and carve out a whole new life as a fifth grader. I was terrified, but eventually, I settled in, only to be moved two years later to another home that was 4.4 miles in the opposite direction.

I’m not sure how military kids do it because it was really tough for me, and I never even left Falmouth. But somehow, that first move away from Clipper Lane never really left me.

Sometimes I dream about moving back to Falmouth, but I know it wouldn’t be the same. So I will just keep going back for short visits. Enjoying every moment that I can while I am there.

Being A Mother

Sunday, Mother’s Day, was beautiful! The sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky. It really was a perfect day.

I got beautiful flowers and cards and well wishes for a happy day and that made me smile, more than you can know.

I feel so blessed to have a wonderful daughter like Mandy, and two happy and healthy grandchildren, like Savannah and Quinn. My heart is so full of love for them.

Savannah, Me and Mandy, and Quinn. My joys!

There will always be that empty place in my heart that belonged to my daughter Katie. My forever six-year-old girl. I miss her more and more as the years go by. She was part of what made me a Mom.

I also have a step-daughter and step-son who I have really gotten close to over the last year or so. It is so nice to be friends with them at this stage of all our lives. For this, I am also blessed.

And of course, I am a Doggy Mommy to my group of hounds. Even though there are times when their care throws out my lower back (don’t ask) I simply adore them all. Greta, Arnie, Lili, and Anneliese. My loving balls of fur!

Happy 13th Anniversary Dackel Princess!

Thirteen years ago, I sat down at my computer and began to write this Blog. I’d been writing for nearly 18 years, but never put it into anything, until Janet, my cousin, and Megan, my friend, helped me create Dackel Princess!

I wasn’t sure how this was going to work out. would I like blogging? Would I actually have anything to say? Would anyone, besides my sister, cousin, and daughter read what I was writing?

What I learned early on, back in 2005, was that you needed to be a friendly visitor to other blogs and then people would check you out. For me, if the people weren’t interested in dogs, I lost them early on.

When I started the Blog, my first dackel, Shubi was sick with a condition called GME (Granulomatous Meningo-Encephalitis). She had gone through Chemo (which I administered at home) and was actually doing better in May of 2005. So my early entries centered on her, Fritz (our White German Shepherd), and baby Greta!

Fritz and baby Greta, December 2005

Shubi and me, 2006

Since blogging was new, I did a lot of Meme’s, wrote about things that had happened to me, and as I went forward in life, I wrote about things that were happening.

My health challenges were highlighted, my skiing attempts, and the growing of our fruit, our garden, new recipes and life on the lake.

There were German Dog Shows, and then puppies came along, and Greta’s first litter gave us Arnie and Anneliese.

Greta and her first litter of pups.

We knew Anneliese was staying, but when Arnie’s prospective buyer canceled at the last moment, we ended up keeping him too.

Anneliese and Arnie.

Thus, our life with four dogs began. When Fritz was alive, having four dogs was easy. Lili, on the other hand, has been a challenge. We keep waiting for her to grow up and settle down. Who knows, she may be one of those rare dogs that remain like a puppy their entire life.

Three more litters of puppies came along, 15 total puppies before the two girls retired. It was so much fun having the puppies around. Those were really great days!

Then something marvelous happened in 2012! My daughter, Amanda gave birth to the most wonderful baby Girl, Savannah and my entire world changed, in ways I could never have imagined!

Oma and Savannah May 31, 2012

Suddenly I was writing about my joys of watching my granddaughter grow. You know how some people lose touch with normal life and get all caught up when a baby is born? Well, that is me! She is all things girly and wonderful, and her heart is so soft and full of love. She is such a kind child and she makes my heart sing! Savannah amazed me then and at nearly six years old, she continues to amaze me!

My parent’s both died while I’ve been writing, and the Blog afforded me the opportunity to work through my grief. In fact, I think writing helps me work through so many things in my life.

Grandchild #2 arrived in 2016 and this time the baby was a BOY! I’d never had a son, so I never did do the boy thing.

Quinn and Oma March 7, 2016.

I have to say that having this all boy grandson, has been a real wonder. Quinn was destined to grow as quickly as he could, and I swear the child was born holding onto a truck, as anything with wheels has thrilled him since his eyes could focus and he could grip things! Quinn walked at seven months and he never looked back.

I watch him now and I have to remember that this little boy is just two years old, and not the older kid he resembles!

My Blog has helped me to keep my daughter Katie’s memory alive. When she passed back in 1985 one of the things that bothered me was that people would never know, never understand, how wonderful this little girl was.

And how loved and missed she is. On my Blog, I can write about her, and share my pictures of her, and my readers understand and have consoled me. It’s made the pain of this loss bearable. And I thank all my readers for being there for me.

I’ve shared my joys and my sorrows and each evening when I sit down the write the next day’s entry, I try to find things that will be relevant and will make you smile or even laugh.

Life is really good. When I look around me at all the blessings in my life, I am so glad that I am here to enjoy them. It has made writing this Blog and sharing my life with all of you, such an important part of my world.

TBT: My Sister & Me

I have so many pictures of my sister and me, but this week I thought I would share one of my favorites. This was taken when I was in 5th grade and my sister was a Sophmore in High School. Back then I was still shorter than my sister but soon grew to be much taller than her.

I remember how much I loved that brown dress. It was the height of fashion in the late 1960’s and I felt so grown up in it. I also recall that it fit me for such a short time as this was the year that I grew several inches and started to get my adult body. But oh, looking back at this picture, I can easily recall how lovely I felt!

My sister’s dress never fit me. She is so slender and her body frame is so petite compared to mine. I loved it and we usually did wear each other’s clothes, but this beautiful dress just never fit me. Even now, Mel is slightly built, and when we compare our wrists, hers is tiny and mine is quite large.

It’s also interesting to note that at that time we did not look too much alike. However, in our twenties, we looked like twins. Now as we enter our golden years, we have gone back to being quite individual.

The one thing that has never changed from the time when we were very little until now is our deep and abiding love for each other. How very blessed we are to have each other.

Love you so much Mel!

Happy Days & Happy Memories

A funny thing happened on Monday, on our way out to lunch. The restaurant we chose is closed on Mondays in the winter, and the summer hours don’t begin until Memorial Day Weekend! Our back up restaurant was also closed and a new one we were going to try only served sandwiches. Not what we had in mind.

So we went to our old standby, “The Common Man” in Ashland, NH. And coincidentally, we had the same waitress we had on Valentine’s Day. Moe. So, it was not only comfortable, but warm and friendly too. We also had a fabulous meal, which means that I will not be cooking dinner tonight.

I had two glasses of Prosecco, and Jack had light beer. We shared an appetizer of Mussels cooked in white wine, garlic and cream.

It was so good! Next we each had soup. Jack had the French onion and I had the Lobster Corn Chowder. Main courses were Salmon for me, and a chicken pasta for Jack. It was all outstanding!

We came home and changed into our lounging clothes. Yoga pants for me and a comfy pants for Jack. I say we’re entitled to do this on our special day, but after such a big meal, I really needed the extra room!

Our day was quiet and enjoyable and we shared some of our favorite memories over the last 30 years! There were so many. We laughed a lot over our luncheon.

As we sat in the evening watching mindless TV, were mellow and happy and I hope for many more years with my guy.

Savannah The Star!

On Saturday I woke at 4:45 AM. I got up and the dogs looked at me like I was crazy. But I was so excited! Saturday was Savannah’s Play Day! She was one of the cast members in Suessical Kids!

I had no idea what to expect, but being the loving, happy, Oma that I am, I knew that anything Savi was doing would make me very happy and bring tears to my eyes! And such was the case.

After getting myself showered and ready, and realizing that if I left my house when I could have, I would have gotten to my daughter’s home nearly two hours too soon! So, I sat down, had some coffee and something to eat, and killed time.

Soon enough I threw the last of my things in the car and headed down to southern New Hampshire. Arriving just about on time. When I came in I discovered their babysitter had cancelled at the last minute, but they’d figured it all out, so even though it had added some stress, they’d just decided to go with the flow and actually take Quinn to the afternoon show.

By nine o’clock, Mandy, Savannah and I were headed to Milford, NH where the Playhouse is. We got there with plenty of time for Mandy to apply Savannah’s make-up and then off she went.

I really am impressed at Savannah’s independence! Was I so brave and daring when I was her age? Possibly, but that was so long ago…

While Savannah was preparing to go onstage with her fellow actors, Mandy and I went to buy her flowers and I got her a heart shaped stained glass ornament for her window.

Then we raced back to the theater, where we met up with our cousin, Janet, got our seats, and settled in to be divinely entertained by these wonderful, talented children!

I was so delighted to watch Savi, and I will admit to tears flowing at the end. I was not sad, just bursting with happiness, watching this amazing little girl!

We waited to pick her up after her costume change, and Mandy gave her a beautiful bouquet of flowers. She immediately pronounced them…delicious! And they really were!

Then, Janet, Mandy, Savi and I drove to a Hibachi Restaurant, where we met up with Savi’s Daddy, Matt and brother Quinn, her Nana Mary, her grandfather Bob and Uncle Robert. We sat down around the grill and the show began!

Lunch was not only super tasty, but the Hibachi show was so much fun. Somehow, this was the first time I had done this, and it tickled me so much!

Savi helped feed her little brother and they both ate very well. The Chef was funny giving the adults Saki by squirting it in their mouth, and the kids wanted some too! He changed the bottled to plain water and called it “Baby Saki” and the two kids squealed in delight! I have decided that we simply must do Hibachi again!

After lunch we raced back to the theater for the afternoon performance. Once again, Savi scurried off with the other kids, and Mandy and I waited until the doors opened and we got an entire row and a half for seats for the family and friends who were coming to the afternoon show.

One by one, the family showed up and the seats were filled. By chance I was in a seat looking down an empty isle and I was able to take some pictures!

Savi is fourth from the right!

And here she is, in the coveted role of the “Elephant Bird” popping out of her eggshell!

After the play, we brought Savi home, and we all settled in for a relaxing evening. I noticed that Mandy and the two kids were snuggled up under the afghan that I made for her.

My time with them ended the next morning, after a pleasant sleep in the guest room with Savannah. I’d forgotten how sleeping with a five and a half year old is like sleeping with a cat. They stretch, they roll, they stretch again, legs are draped over your body, as are arms and feet! But I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

My last picture is of Mandy, Savi, Janet and me at the restaurant. One of my favorite pictures of the day. My family is everything to me!