Category: My Life

Today I went to see my retinal surgeon. I go every six months to make sure my retinas are okay, and have been seeing Dr. C. since that fateful day when my first retina detached in 2002. You can go here and read about the first detachment.

My second retina detached in 2009. You can read about that one here. Anyway, today was my 6 month check up with him. Today I planned to tell him some very important information.

You see in the years since I first met Dr. C. I have learned a lot about retinas, a lot about his work, and how for every success like mine there are just as many people who lose their vision. Some weeks are good weeks for him. Others are weeks when no matter what he does, people go blind.

Today when I arrived I spoke with his physicians assistant. I asked how his week was going? She said, it had been a tough one for him.

So, I took out my Savannah picture book, selected this picture, and waited.

When he came in, I told him, “I know that in your line of work, some days are good and some days are bad. I know you don’t always have the best outcomes. But I wanted to tell you that I thank God every day for giving you the gift to restore my vision. Every time I look at my granddaughter and see her beautiful face I feel so lucky. Thank you!”

He took the booklet from my hands and looked at each Savannah picture. Then he thanked me. He said he’d had a tough week.

I knew then that I’d picked the right time to thank him, in a very sincere way. I felt like at that moment, after all these years, we had become friends.

On Wednesday I went to get my tooth ready for a crown. I had not anticipated such an ordeal, but it sure was. I was under the assumption that the worst was behind me. You know, the root canal and such, but the prepping for this crown on that tooth was brutal!

I have had root canals before, but not on a molar, and perhaps that is what caused the problem. The Endodontist did the root canal work, and then put a temporary closure on that. My own dentist had to grind down the tooth, make molds of it, etc, and then make a temporary tooth. The entire thing took from 11:10 AM until almost 12:30 PM!

My jaw is probably the most problematic. It does not handle being wide open for long periods of time. The actual jaw joint is really sore!

I came home and as the Novocaine wore off, I was in agony. I’d mentioned to the Dentist that I don’t do pain well, and his answer was, that I should take Motrin! Got to say, taking Motrin was like chewing a Gummy Bear. It did absolutely nothing for the pain!

So, here I am two day past the event, still hurting, and mostly eating soft foods. I hope by the end of the weekend I can be back to eating normal foods. I know I won’t be eating anything really chewy for a while, but at least normal meal foods.

On the bright side, this is really good for my diet!

This weeks TBT are pictures of me at one and a half years old. I cannot believe that I am sitting still, as I have heard stories about me being a very active, climbing baby! In any case, here I am, in the front yard of our house on Clipper Lane in Falmouth.

And this one Dad took. I can see my hands are moving, so I know this picture was a real challenge for him!

It’s been two years since the surgery that removed the cancer from my nose. Back then I thought I would go in, have a small incision and a little plastic surgery to put me back together.

But that was not what happened. A large part of my nose was removed and skin taken from my forehead, to cover my nose with skin.

I feel the first plastic surgeon botched the job and left me quite disfigured. I was lucky to find a wonderful Australian Doctor at Brigham and Women’s Hospital who worked very hard for over 6 months to repair what was left of my face.

I cannot tell you how it felt to wake up and see myself after the surgery. From late February until July of that year, I simply thought I would forever look like I went through the windshield of my car.

Then I found Dr. P. in Boston and he told me honestly that he couldn’t make me exactly as God had, but he could certainly do his best to repair my face.

Which he did. From July 2013 until the end of November of that year I saw him every few weeks for additional surgery.

Then it was over, and I knew that I needed time to recover, and for the scars to heal.  I remember looking in the mirror and hoping that the bright red scars would fade away.

It seemed every day all I could see was the scars. I could not see anything positive in my appearance and I started to fall into a pretty deep depression.

It was like, one day waking up only to find that your face has been hacked and no longer belongs to you.

People said nice things, like, I looked great and they didn’t even notice the scars. But deep down, I knew they did. I just couldn’t see anything positive on my face.

On Saturday my cousin took a picture of me and for the first time in two years, I thought I actually looked pretty.

I think it was then I realized just how I had been seeing myself. And I knew I needed to snap out of it, and stop looking in the mirror, and perhaps start looking inside of myself, instead.

Have you ever wondered about the people in your life that are your support system? I’m lucky to have several people who can really talk me off the ledge, when my emotions get the best of me.

Most of the time, I’m fairly level, and I try hard not to let things bother me, but sometimes, something will throw me and Manic Maribeth is off and running.

My daughter, sister, cousin and certain friends, all have the ability, of helping me chill. Theirs is not an easy job, as I can over-think anything, and they must be on the ball in order to stay one step ahead of me!

I like to think that it’s creative minds, such as myself, that keep the world turning and perhaps contribute amazing things, although I am still not sure what mine is.

I know that many creative types, also have over-thinkers syndrome. Some of them, sort of go off the deep end, and then you have people like me who have worked hard to stay this side of the sanity line.

Yes, I know I am one of them.  The over thinkers, over worriers, over wondering people. Perhaps it is because I am a caring person. After all, if I didn’t care, I would not concern myself with all of this. And yet I do.

Am I overthinking this?

As I was driving home from time spent with my daughter, Mandy, I was feeling so very blessed. Mandy and I, along with my cousin, Janet and her sister in-law, Sue, went to a painting class on Saturday evening. We had a blast and although the greats like Monet and Renoir will never be challenged by me, I must say, my enjoyment, perhaps exceeded theirs.

The setting was a small river, with a cabin setting amongst the snow. It was fun to watch us all interpret the same picture in very different ways. I am also the most vocal, and critical of the four of us, so their was a lot of gasping and eeking on my part, which caused my family great laughter. I am glad. It was great to hear them laughing with me, happily!

I also spent time both before and after at Mandy and Matt’s home. I have to say that my daughters touch, as she and Matt set up their new house was all around. Mandy has such a good eye and gentle heart. I felt so comfortable, so at home. I sat there yesterday while Savannah was napping and Mandy and Matt were at the movies, feeling so proud of my daughter and Matt and the home they are making for Savannah.

I slept over, as I don’t see very well in the dark, to drive at night. I fell sleep almost instantly and slept really well, until I heard Savannah calling to her Mommy. That, was such a sweet sound. I am so thankful that I was there to hear this endearing exchange.

We went out for breakfast and shared pancakes, french toast and oatmeal. And I mentioned to Mandy that it was time for me to stop looking at my scars and start taking pictures of me with Savannah again. Life it too short. So she took this one.

Ah we are so blessed in this life. Sometimes we just need to look around us. Blessings are right there!

When I was 13 years old I went into the Hospital and had my Wisdom Teeth removed. They were impacted and a real bear to get out, thus the dental surgeon insisted that I go in for a few days. (I’m sure in this day and age, the Insurance Companies would not have allowed it, but…)

Anyway, I remember when I came to after the surgery and my face had already swollen, I could hardly open my mouth and forget about eating. Even the promises of ice cream couldn’t make me attempt it.

I was in for three days, heavily and happily medicated, and once I could at least swallow I was allowed to go home. I have a lot of sympathy for anyone going through four extractions at one time!

I’ve been trying to adapt to Windows 8.1. There is quite the learning curve, after knowing Windows XP, backwards, forward, and upside down! However, I love having a laptop that is fast, uses logical settings, and makes filing this so much easier.

I started backing up my files weekly, because I am still making mistakes and I don’t want to lose my work. Fortunately I have a new plug and play device with 1 Tera Byte of space on it and I am using that to place all my files.

My new laptop. The Asus.

I think that this would actually be fairly easy for Hubby to use. I wasn’t sure at first, as he likes Windows XP, but we all know that his laptops days are numbered and eventually he will need a new machine. I think he will be surprised at how well 8.1 works.

Meanwhile, I’m just enjoying the Asus machine, and I am happy with it. There is only one thing I would change. I would have a full size keyboard, and not a smaller one with numbers on the right side.

Something weird happened today. We were shopping and it was a little late for lunch. I felt almost like I was having a hot flash.

Then, I got:

Confused,  double vision, heart palpitations, shakiness, anxiety, sweating, and somehow I knew I needed protein and sugar.

Since I was in a grocery store I grabbed an orange juice, cheese, cookie, and then Reece’s peanut-butter cup. Then I could feel my blood sugar coming up.

However, I was totally wiped out and feeling very shaky and tired. I need to get my blood-work done on Wednesday, and then see my doctor.

The weird thing was that this is the worst episode I have had. And it took me a long time to feel better. I think I need to keep protein products close by so that I don’t crash like this again. I certainly need to speak to my doctor about it.