The Dackel Princess

Grief

I woke up on Thursday with a small fever. Because I haven’t been sleeping well, I decided to take some time, do a little laundry and watch some mindless TV. I wanted to nap too, but that was not to be.

The nose, brow and forehead are painful. I tried taking the pain medication, but it seemed to keep me awake. So it’s Motrin for me.

In fact, despite my exhaustion, I simply cannot get a good night sleep! I’ve been waking 2 or 3 times in the night and finding it tough to get back to sleep.

I’ve done some cooking and canning, making my Heavenly Peach Jam and a batch of the best bread pudding ever!

Just staying busy. I’m trying not to think deep thoughts, but they keep coming up anyway.

I guess this is grief.

Thursday

“I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.” ~Blessed Mother Teresa

I’m not Catholic, but I love Mother Theresa. She was such a good holy woman, and it is wonderful to know, that even she felt challenged at times.

Take right now, in my life. My mom passed away yesterday morning. I should be rejoicing, as my faith tells me that she is no longer in pain, and is in the house of God! Also, with all my family, who have gone before her.

But I am feeling terribly sad. It’s almost like finishing your favorite book and knowing that you cannot go back and experience that first read ever again.

My relationship was not always easy with Mom, but I loved her so much, and my biggest fear is, she didn’t know how much I loved her.

Add to this the fact that I have just had my surgery and I feel just a little more than challenged. Especially since I cannot cry for my mother. That makes my eye and nose hurt so much. Well, crying must be set aside for another day.

I HAD to cook the Heavenly Jam today. I’d started the process yesterday, and I just had to finish today. Three batched done over an hour for each. Yeah, call me tired.

And lest we forget the spaghetti sauce. I had to do that too. It made enough for four meals.

But I want to make a request here and now. “Dear Lord, I am tired and aching and my heart is broken. Please find just a little time for me to rest. Thank you. Love, MB”

Wednesday Hodgepodge

1. What’s your worst food memory? How about one of your best?

Worst? Well the very first time I went to Germany, Hubby was working still as a pilot and he went off in the morning early, thus leaving me to my own devices. I walked out on the street and I see a vendor with the delicious looking rolls with coffee also available. So I got a roll that was filled with what thought was deviled ham and sat down with it and a cup of coffee.

No sooner than I had finished this strange item, than my stomach began to hurt and I felt dizzy and sick. A woman saw my distress and brought me to a restroom and after I was horribly ill took me to an Apotheke (Pharmacy) where the Pharmacist gave me several things like Pepto Bismol to take.

When Hubby returned that night he found me moaning and groaning with the worst case of food poisoning I have ever had, By the way, it was not deviled ham, but steak tar tar (raw meat) and remember this…never buy it from a street vendor!

My best food memory was the day that Savannah was born. Now this will sound really silly. I stepped out of the hospital and went to get a meal at “Five Guys Burger and Fries” and while I say eating this fantastic meal I thought of all the picnics and cookout we had when I was a kid. The burgers were just like Dad made and I missed him, my Uncle George and all those fun times. It was like a past food memory flashback!

2. Do you appreciate people telling it like it is, or would you rather a speaker temper his/her words and maybe beat around the bush a little? How about when you’re the one communicating…which type are you?

I do like direct speaking, but that doesn’t mean the speaker has to be cruel. Telling it plainly, but with kindness. I would like to think I am a direct kind speaker, but I know that often it is hard for me to be thus.

3. What’s your favorite place to hang out?

My loveseat chair with my dackels! Like I am right now.

4. When do you most feel like you’re a slave to time?

Canning season. There is just not enough hours in the day to get it all done. Like today I need to get three batches of Jam put together to sit overnight and tomorrow the cooking and canning begins!

5. What was the last concert you attended? Who’d you go with? Was it any good?

May 10th we went to see The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. I just love them!

6. Reality TV…harmful or harmless? What’s your guilty pleasure when it comes to reality TV?

Okay, I think ‘Reality’ TV is pretty harmful. I mean, please, who really wants to keep up with a bunch of spoiled brats like the Kardashians? My guilty pleasure? ‘The Long Island Medium’.

7. What’s something you think is overrated?

The whole movie theater experience. I would much rather watch movies at home, with closed captioning so I don’t miss one word. I also like my own popcorn, drinks and comfy chair with no added cost!

8. Insert your own random thought here.

My forehead/nose are killing me. I’m swollen and bruised this time and not sleeping well at all. Wah, wah, wah! I am so hoping that this will be the last surgery!

It Is Done

We were up early for our ride into Boston. I made a nice breakfast and then we hit the road. We made it into Boston in record time, leaving us time to look around and get lunch. We split a cheese steak sub sandwich (a really good one) and then it was time for me to have my operation.
I sat down with Dr. P. and he first asked about my mother. How kind of him to remember that she is so ill. Then we spoke about the surgery and we spoke about the forehead. It seemed he had extra time because of a cancelled operation. So he did both the top of the nose and the right side, as well as the forehead! I was very happy except, it hurts like heck!
We managed to make it home in no time, and I told Hubby to please make me a strong gin and tonic and that has helped the pain. I am surprised at how much pain I have had. Far more than the last time, but then, he worked on my forehead where that pesky nerve has been!

Well, I am went to bed early as the pain was bad and it did wake me in the night. Aside from peeling peaches and getting them ready to make Heavenly Jam, I plan a lot of down time today.

Today’s The Day

Today’s the day! My next plastic surgery. Hubby and I are leaving in the AM to go to Boston. My dog sitter will come in and take care of the motley crew from here. So nice to have her around and not worry about having to leave them.

As excited as I am, I am also nervous! What will it look like? What will I look like? Will it hurt?

The surgery time is 12:30. Luckily, I won’t have general anesthesia, just local. I’m glad for that, as the last time I had general anesthesia I felt sick afterward.

My nose is actually looking pretty well good now. I know we still have a ways to go, but really, I am looking great.

Aug 18 13 007

Above today. Below July.

So now I think the real healing begins. Both body and mind. It has been a long road, but I think we are going to be alright.

Peach Upside Down Cake

The peaches have started to come in. Next week, after my surgery I will be making Heavenly Jam, but tonight, with just a few peach drops, I made the tastiest upside down peach cake. Not only does it look, oh so pretty, but it tastes delightfully of summer!

So, without further ado, here is the recipe. One thing I would do is go to a farm stand and ask for drops, or make sure you are getting very ripe peaches.

Upside Down Peach Cake

8 Servings Prep: 15 min. Bake: 45 min. + cooling

Ingredients:

1/2 cup butter, softened,
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
2 cups sliced peeled fresh peaches
3/4 cup sugar
****************
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1-1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup softened butter

Directions:

Melt 1/2 cup butter; pour into an ungreased 9-in. round baking pan. Sprinkle with brown sugar. Arrange peach slices in single layer over sugar. In a large bowl, cream sugar and remaining butter until light and fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla. Combine the flour, baking powder and salt; add to creamed mixture alternately with milk, beating well after each addition. Spoon over peaches. Bake at 350° for 45-50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before inverting onto a serving plate. Serve warm. Yield: 8 serving.

I used a glass pie plate and waited about 20 minutes before flipping the cake. This way I could watch as the cake/peaches separated from the pan. It was yummy!

The Long & Winding Road

The last few days I have had trouble thinking and/or writing. My mother is lingering, just on this side of life and she is still suffering.

My sister is still suffering too. She is unable to go forward in her life, while Mom lingers. For her to see my Mom in pain…oh I pray that Mom is released from this life soon.

Mel spends so much time at the Hospice with Mom. The nurses have become concerned and now friends and family are circling Mel to take care of her.

I’m also worried. You see Mel and my Mom have always been closer than close. Over the years they have done so many things together, and I worry for Mel’s health.

Being this far from everything offers me some relief, but even I have found it difficult to sleep at night and to organize my thoughts.

So forgive me for not visiting your blogs or writing you a note. Right now, just cooking Hubby’s meals and taking care of the dogs is almost more than I can handle.

Tonight (Friday) Mom is in even more pain. I am praying that the good Lord will take her home soon.

Man Walking His Dogs

Just a little clip to make you smile.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Thoughts

Today was a very cool and dry day. Almost like Autumn.
There was even a tree top that has two branches where the leaves have changed color!
My garden in general, has been such a disappointment.
My biggest crop have been the beans. 12 pounds frozen for the winter.
There are tomatoes, but not many.
What I really need to do is clear the garden out before the winter and really fertilize it well before the snow falls.
I also need to figure out how to get rid of the powdery mildew in the soil.
Next year I will plant different types of squash and eggplants.
I guess sometimes gardens just have an off year.
The peaches will be coming in soon.
That means it will be time to make the Heavenly Peach Jam!
One of the best things in life, is a fresh plain doughnut, fresh Heavenly Jam and a hot cup of coffee!
I guess this means we need to go and buy that new coffee maker tomorrow.

Wednesday Hodgepodge

1. Joyce’s daughter earned her Master’s Degree this past weekend…what’s something you’ve ‘mastered’ in recent weeks or months?

Right now, I’m sort of in a holding pattern. With my Mom so ill, I feel quite unable to even think.

2. What song most reminds you of your childhood?

Music from The Sound of Music. Probably Do, Re, Mi.

3. What do you think about single gender groups and/or events? Should every group/event be open to both genders? If not, what sort of exceptions do you think are appropriate?

I think if we are truly going to be diverse, w should not separate due to sex.

4. What’s your favorite spice? Your favorite dish containing your favorite spice?

I love cinnamon. I love snickerdoodles, and I also love plain old cinnamon toast!

5. I saw this question on Marla’s facebook page and asked if I could steal borrow it for the Hodgepodge…thanks Marla!

Chevron patterns are everywhere! Do you like it or think its just a little too much? Do you own anything ‘chevron’?

Cute, but I own nothing!

6. What’s something you disliked as a child, but can fully appreciate now?

Long stories. I could read short books, but now, I love a good long read. O not a boring one, but I good long tale!

7. What can irritate you very quickly?

Right now everything is irritating me. Starting tomorrow I need to working harder at staying calm.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I just need to hit the hay! My need for rest and sleep is a bit overwhelming right now.