Category: My Life

A month ago when I saw myself after my initial plastic surgery, I was convinced I would be forever deformed. Looking at the swollen face, the draining incisions was not an easy thing to do on a day to day basis.

But then today, I looked at the pictures I’d taken and I noticed that I look so much better!

The picture on the left was taken the day of my first plastic surgery. The picture on the right was taken today, a month later.

Seeing the improvement made me feel so happy! I actually feel like I have a chance of getting my face back!

I have hope! Yes, HOPE!!!

I’m going to forgo the usual thirteen this week and just kind of ramble. Hubby and I are working hard to prepare for next week. What this means is stocking up on foods and drinks, getting all the laundry done, including sheets, and dog beds.

I’m going to have Hubby do the vacuuming while I dust, and then on Sunday I will wash down all three bathrooms.

I know that after the next surgery there will be a period of lying around and allowing my nose and face to heal.

You know I have had nightmares about moving around in my sleep and waking up to find my nose on my cheek!

Up until today I could hardly wait for the surgery to come about. Now that it will happen in a few days, I am starting to get a little nervous.

You see, I want to be attractive. I don’t want my nose to look like Michael Jackson. I want to have my old nose back! And I know that this is not going to happen. I’ll have a nose. A new nose. But it will not be the nose I have always known.

I sort of slapped myself today and reminded myself that I should be grateful for what I do have and stop whining. Look at what the Boston victims are going through. Yes, I have far less to complain about!

The next few weeks will be a challenge for both Hubby and me, but I know we’ll get through it. I just hope that after all of this, the rest of 2013 will be uneventful.

I woke up this morning and I thought, ‘oh dear, I didn’t write an entry in Dackel Princess last night’.

So I’ve waited until the coffee is brewed and I can have my first cup writing to you all.

Yesterday was a very busy day. First I returned to Weight Watchers, where I learned that yes, I am a stress eater. Funny thing is that I did not eat chocolate or vast amounts of sweets. I just ate too much of the regular foods.

Next, I raced home so I could accompany Hubby to learn how to give himself insulin. His old pancreas is not working as well as it should, so the doctor has put him on a long acting injection of insulin each day.

After that I went off to have lunch with my girlfriend, Laurie at our favorite place in town, “The Coffee House”. The owners are our friends, and they have wonderful coffee and salads and quiches. Best of all is that this place is cozy and we just sit, relax and talk while we eat.

At the end the owner came over and gave us two home made chocolate chip cookies to celebrate my successful cancer surgery!

I came back home and was completely beat, and I still had dinner to make for the dogs and for Hubby.

We watched a little TV and I headed to bed at 9:30.

This morning I tested Hubby’s blood sugar and it was down to 130. This is fabulous news! This means he probably won’t need too much more insulin right now. Yay!!!

Saturday was a crazy day for us. It started by getting up early and bringing Fritz to the Humane Society for his Rabies Vaccine. We got there a little late, which meant that we were in the middle of about 50 dogs and cats standing outside in the cold wind!

After a few minutes of wind related pain, I begged to come inside, and looking at my poor face, they allowed me to come in and wait. Fritz and Hubby had to wait outside until it was their turn.

As always happens, Fritz becomes the center of attention. He is beautiful, sweet and likes to charm the ladies!

He got his shot and we left to come home, where I tossed a few things in a bag and headed to see Nataliya to get my hair done. I love the way she colored my hair, and she carefully shaped it too. I feel so much better knowing that at the very least my hair looks good!

I drove home and a beautiful bouquet of flowers was just being delivered! They were from my Mom and Sister, Melodie in honor of Hubby’s and my 25th wedding anniversary, which is on Tuesday.

I came inside, made a small snack of tea and popcorn, and then fell asleep in my chair with the three dackels.

Dinner was an easy meal. Hamburger Helper and a salad, and now I’m just waiting for the day to end so I can go to bed. I am just beat.

But as tired as I am, I am happy. I got so much done! Yay for fresh hair styles and colors!

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking in the last couple of weeks about who I think I am. I finally had to admit that I do like the way I have always looked, and found facing myself in the mirror fairly easy to do. (It was better when I was in my twenties, but heck…)

Now I am faced (no pun intended) with having a new face to look at each day.

After my car accident I had a few scars on my face that eventually faded. I had plastic surgery on my ear, because it was nearly torn off in that accident. But in the end, this new face was something I got used to.

When I had detached retinas I found I could no longer wear my contact lenses, and I got used to wearing glasses instead.

After all, it’s more important to be able to see to live your life.

Now I will have to learn to live with a new nose. I’m guessing it will not be like my old one, and that’s okay. I think eventually your forget what once was and find that you accept the new normal.

After all, I’m still me inside here. I’m still the Maribeth that I have always been. Just the old nose will have changed.

This is me at age three. Then the next one is from Christmas. Soon we will have the after. I can hardly wait to see it.

Tuesday morning I got a call letting me know that my next plastic surgery has been delayed a week. So instead of being operated on on April 16th, I will be operated on the following week, April 23rd!

I am just so disappointed and sick about it. I’ve literally been hiding out, not going anywhere, or seeing anyone due to my freakish looks. I keep wondering what I will look like when all is said and done, and now I need to go another week before I can find out!

So here I sit. In a small puddle of tears, feeling very sorry for myself.

I wonder if doctors realize how horrible it is for people to go around looking like this?

People have said I’ve been brave about going through all of this. I don’t feel very brave right now. I feel very much like I am falling apart.