The Dackel Princess

The Friday Five

I’m not sure where 2019 is going, but so far the road has been bumpy and it vacillates between time going very slowly and then time racing by. It’s been filled with sadness, happiness, and incredible poignancy.

If I tried to write down everything going through my mind, I would fill a book the size of War & Peace! But for expediency, I will keep it down to the top five.

Since returning to New Hampshire, I have kept myself busy by taking care of the little things here. Making meals, doing laundry, and tending to sick pups. The meals have been good, the laundry got done, and Anneliese’s eye is so much better. Still, I admit to feeling just slightly off balance emotionally since coming back.
A young woman that I babysat for, many years ago, passed away on Sunday. In her youth, she was the twin of my Katie. Really. People thought they were twins as they both had the same beautiful red curls and blue/green eyes. She was a delightful child and an amazing young woman. At just 39 years old, her death was not expected and hit everyone she knew very hard. I am devastated.
I think that many people do not realize how very precious life is. How one minute all is well, and the next it is gone. I find the lack of caring and kindness difficult to understand or to take. A person I know is a member of the Clergy and recently that person exclaimed outright hatred of the Presidency, the New England Patriots and several other things, even calling for someone to just do them in. Whether they were serious or not, I do not really care. That type of hatred, I do not understand, nor do I need it in my life!
I’ve begun to read one of my favorite Authors. Dr. Leo Buscaglia. Or, as they called him back in the 1970s and 1980s, “Dr. Love”!
Reading his words of love and how often love is lost in this crazy world, gives me hope. Hope that someday people will realize that hatred gets us nowhere, and real love and kindness will truly conquer the world.
My darling friend Candy passed away a few minutes ago (Thursday). She was one of the finest women I have ever known. She gave of herself constantly and never asked for anything in return. She was one of my constants in life. One of those people that I depended on just to be there.

Candy and her darling Aurora.

Candy and her beloved husband, DeVere.

I’m not sure how I will ever “get over” losing this wonderful friend, who was more like a sister to me. I think perhaps I will not. I will learn to live with it.

So that’s what’s happening right now in my life. I guess we all go through times when life is very hard, where perhaps we do not understand why certain things are happening, and when our emotions are pushed to the limit. Right now, that’s sort of where I am at.

This & That

I woke up early on Wednesday and decided to go to Weight Watchers. Not because I expected to lose any weight, but because I needed to see my friends. My support system. And get plenty of good, warm, hugs. It was amazingly wonderful seeing everyone and collecting hugs!

As we went and did a big grocery shopping yesterday Our fridge is full and I am planning a nice normal meal for our dinner. Roasted Porkloin I think, with Broccoli and mashed potatoes for Jack.

A book I ordered (A real paper book!) arrived today and since Wednesday is a crappy night for TV, I plan to sit and read this evening. Quietly, peacefully, until I am ready for bed.

The best news of the day is that Anneliese’s eye is so much better. It is healing nicely, and she no longer seems to be in pain. I think we caught it just in time!

Jack finished chipping the ice from our lower driveway today. This is almost amusing, as tonight we are due for more snowy, icy, sloppy, weather.

I discovered, much to my dismay, that the Shingles Vaccine hurts like a son of a gun! Owch!

And lastly, I am thinking back to my trip with the kids to Disney. Here is a picture of Savannah and me the day she got her Fairy Princess make-over!

Being Back

I seem to be settling into life back here in New Hampshire. It’s warmed up a bit and was actually as warm as it was during the Florida cold snap that I lived through when I was down. Funny isn’t it? 59 degrees in Florida is COLD! Yet, here in New Hampshire, I wore a Spring jacket and actually saw several people out in shorts. Really! Shorts!

The mountains of snow in my yard have started to melt some, and Jack worked hard to break up the three inches of ice in our driveway so that we could get some serious melting done there. We also had an incredible run off of water under the ice in the driveway. Yes, New England weather is just crazy.

Anneliese’s eye is so much better today! I’ve been holding my breath, terrified she would need surgery, but the four drops and salves are working and she is no longer in pain at all. Call me a happy girl! Anneliese too.

I made a totally awesome lunch today of tomato soup with basil and a love Greek Salad, with chicken in it. I’d made my own Greek Salad Dressing the other day and it came out really well. I want to try a few other salad things this coming week.

It’s nice to be home, nice to be getting into a routine once again.

Happy Birthday, Grandma Honey

1. She was born February 4, 1898. Her parents George and Sarah named her Mary Francis Daniell.

2. She had two sisters, Sarah Mathilda, the oldest, whom we all called Tilly, and Marionette, who chose to move away and never have much to do with any of the family.

Marionette, Tilly, seated and my very blond grandmother.

3. She met my Grandfather when she was 8 or 9 years old. His family moved into her neighborhood and Gram became best friends with his sister, Katchen. Gram taught them to speak English, as they were from Germany and didn’t speak a bit of English when they arrived.

4. Papa fell instantly in love with her and pursued her all through their teens. (Today we would call this stalking! LOL)

5. Her father insisted she finish college before she even considered marriage. He wanted Papa to go to college too. And he did!

6. They married right after graduation on June 1, 1921, and were married for over 65 years before she passed away.

7. They had one son, Robert and my mother, Rosamond. They always thought of Tilly’s son George as their own too. They adored him.

8. Gram taught school in the Boston Public Schools. She taught 5th grade and she also taught Special Education.

9. She was a member of the DAR, The Eastern Star and worked for the Christian Science Monitor in Boston.

10. She was always busy working for charities and I can’t recall a time until she was very old that she actually rested.

11. She adored her grandchildren, there were five of us, Carl, Erica, my brother Richard, sister Melodie and yours truly!

12. She made the best cookies and also warm milk with honey and a pat of butter in it. To this day it calms me.

13. Sadly, she passed December 2, 1984. I feel lucky to have had such a great and wonderful grandmother.

14. So, Happy Birthday to my dearest Grandma Honey in Heaven. I miss you each and every day, but carry your love with me everywhere!

Winter

A few days ago I was in Florida, with Palm Trees and green grass. Oh yes, and one heck of a tropical rainstorm! It was a welcome back sort of weather time for me, as I lived just over the bridge from Candy’s sister, Mary.

Now I am home. There is nearly four feet of snow in my back yard, paths for the dachshunds and Lili to use, and temperatures that start below zero almost every day.

Welcome home indeed!

But it is good to be home. After driving that crazy Chevy rental car, (a terrible piece of trash) I am driving my nice sturdy Highlander. The roads are not congested, (although snow covered in spots) and my life has returned to the same quiet pace that I thrive in.

I cooked my first meal at home last night. A lovely rotisserie chicken, roasted potatoes, and a Greek salad. Quite good and I know Jack was thrilled.

Super Bowl Sunday finds me making Chicken Stew and salads for dinner. Nice warm food for yet another cold day.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday!

Nurse Mommy

Friday morning I was looking at Anneliese just before sitting down to eat breakfast. I noticed immediately that she had something very wrong with her eye.

I noticed that she had a pitted area on her cornea. I immediately sat down and called the Vet, and made an appointment.

I feared the worst, and I am not too far off really, she does have an ulcer that has gone through two layers of her eye, but has not reached the inner portion of the eye, which would require immediate surgery.

Currently, we are on 4 medications in an intensive attempt to stop and begin to heal the ulceration on the eye.

I had to make up a chart because one medication is once a day, another is twice a day, one is 4four times a day and the other is every four hours! Eeeek! What is a Nurse Mommy to do!

So now I have made up a work sheet with all the times of the day Anneliese’s meds are scheduled and I am trying to stick to it.

However, it is really nice to be home, and with Jack and the doggies again!

Life’s Journey

Life is strange, isn’t it? One moment you are plodding along, everything is so normal that it’s almost boring.

Then one day you answer your phone and the world as you know it, changes forever.

And so it was, on the weekend right after Thanksgiving, when I answered my phone and heard Candy’s panicked voice.

She’d gone to the Walk-in Clinic for a bad cold, and as she left she was told to call her doctor on Monday

After that, her life, and the lives of all the people who love her came to a screeching halt.

Candy and her husband and their family. Especially her beloved pup, Aurora.

We all held our breath and prayed that the diagnosis was wrong. That somehow the Universe had messed this all up.

But as the days passed, it became clear that this was our new reality.

I admit to standing in my living room and swearing and crying before my trip to Florida began. I prayed that I would make it to her side in time. Things were happening so fast, I wasn’t sure if I would.

But on January 23rd, when I walked into her twin sister, Mary’s home, and knelt by her bed, I thanked God I had gotten there.

She was still able to sit and eat small amounts. Mary and I gave her anything she wanted.

We talked, we were peaceful, we held hands, and watched our favorite TV shows, like Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, The Property Brothers, (also twins!) And Love it or List It. Making comments, usually, one-word comments, during each show.

My room was next to hers and I noticed we both were sleeping with the TV on, as was Mary.

Sometimes I got up in the night just to check on her. Just to see her face.

We all held onto each other as we began the walk down this bumpy road. We tried to keep it all together, but tears flowed many times.

And then something amazing happened. We began to talk about her forthcoming death, but with no anger, no sadness, but with the love and friendship and the life we have shared all these years.

We laughed, we joked, we shared so many wonderful feelings and stories of days gone by, and told each other how we felt.

Oh my goodness, I am blessed beyond measure!

I’ve learned so much on this journey. I’ve learned how very precious life is and how we should celebrate our loved ones each and every day. Make sure to let people know how much you value their presence in your life, and never take for granted the people around you that bring you joy!

I am on the bus now on my way from Boston, Massachusetts to Concord, New Hampshire. It’s freezing cold here, but very soon I will be home with my hubby and three precious pups!

For me, my journey continues, but I hope to make it an even better life after everything Candy has taught me.

Thoughts on a Wednesday

I lived in Punta Gorda, FL for six years back in the 1990s. My first friend here was Candy. I met her at Church as we both sang in the choir. It’s funny how quickly we knew each other. It was like two souls that had been together at some other place and time, were once again reunited.

Our first couple of years Candy sat next to me and we sang together. We even sang a couple of duets. She was so good, with pitch-perfect tone and it was easy for me to follow her.

Then the last choir director left and Candy became our organist Choir Master. She was amazing. She picked wonderful hymns and knew how to work them over with the choir.

Candy and Me. Back in the day.

So, yesterday, as I drove down US 41 to US 17 and out to Arcadia, where she is now in hospice, I was recalling so much of our time together.

Most of good old Punta Gorda was washed away during Hurricane Charley, but there were many areas I still recalled. Things that had not changed.

Yet, now, as I drove out to Arcadia, I knew that everything is about to change for me, in regard to this special place.

Getting the Governmental System to allow Candy back into Hospice was not easy. It angers and frustrates me to see that a person needs to be suffering and because an i wasn’t dotted or a t crossed, things will not be done! I think the part that makes me even wilder is that while people suffer, our esteemed Government does nothing to hold the insurance companies accountable!

In any case, after several hours of talking to Nurses, Doctors and Social Workers, Candy’s sister got her back into Inpatient Hospice Care.

I’m relieved. I leave tomorrow to return to New Hampshire, and I was so worried about who would be with her during the days. Now I know she will be well cared for.

Of course, today, when I go out to Arcadia again, it will be one of my hardest days. When I leave Candy today, it will be the last time I see her in this world. I am planning for tears, and I am expecting a downtime until I can compose myself and then drive the 40 minutes back to Punta Gorda.

Life is never guaranteed. None of us know when our last day will be. This is why I believe that we must make every day count and make sure those that we love know how we feel.

Quiet Days

My day started with me groggily getting up and going in to check on my friend, Candy. It was only when I started talking that I realized that I still had my bite guard in! I guess I am used to it.

The day was overcast and cold once again, which is fine as I have some warm clothes with me.

Candy’s husband and step daughter arrived for a short visit. It was nice to see them.

And right around noon the minister from Candy’s church came with communion. I felt very emotional and I admit to crying just a bit. I am, however, so glad he came.

The home health nurse will come today. I am not sure how much she can do as Candy cannot move much.

I leave on Thursday for home and I wish I wasn’t going back right now.

This is so very hard.

This & That

Sunday was rainy, cold and slow. Although a few people stopped by to see Candy, thankfully she had a lot of time to rest.

Everyone at church signed a giant poster for her, which now adorns the wall in her room.

I worked on repacking my big suitcase and while doing so, I realized how many things I brought that I could have left at home. Next time I will pack a third of what I did!

Candy’s sister has the sweetest dog ever. He is a ten year old long haired Chihauha named Peanut! He loves pats and belly rubs and he purrs.

Isn’t he the cutest baby ever? So despite the fact I miss my crew, Peanut has kept me company!