I’ve been thinking a lot about life, people, love, and where we each have come from to get us to this moment in time.
There was a saying I saw recently, it said:
And this is so true. In fact, Some days I almost don’t know who that woman was, the one who was so lost and confused.
There are many people who just knew me at different times and ages. Thankfully, I did not stop growing and changing. I wish I could sit down with a few people and they could see the person I have become.
I’m so grateful, really. I have learned so much along the way, and despite the year from hell, also known as the Covid Pandemic, I’ve somehow made it without totally losing my mind.
There are times in one’s life when you are going along, and all is well, and then in a matter of a couple of hours, your body scares the daylights out of you. Such is my life, as I write on Friday night.
Late in the afternoon on Friday, I started feeling off. The following symptoms occurred.
Fever of 99.9.
Sore throat.
Stuffy.
Not feeling hungry,
Very tired.
Still achy.
I think it is just a cold, but I am taking it easy and staying quiet and warm.
So, I am going to bed and I hope I wake in the morning and I feel 100%. I’ll even take 75% at this point. I do not want to be feeling worse. Because then I’d have to think about getting a test. Our Covid numbers have been exploding in New Hampshire, and though I try to be careful, one just does not know where those crappy little germs are lurking.
Have I mentioned recently how much I hate you? I am looking at this holiday season and I am thinking that the chances are I will not be able to see my grandbabies for the holiday.
I’ve never been one to over-react to this Pandemic, But we are averaging over 500 new cases every day and my little town has nearly 50 active cases. My daughters’ town has over 130.
I know, it is not safe for me to be out in this world right now. And my heart is breaking because I will not see my grandchildren this Christmas Day.
My plan currently is to wrap their gifts, drive them down, and drop them off. Then I will drive home, in tears I am sure, and spend Christmas watching the TV.
Yes, Covid, I hate you. You have taken all that I hold dear and kept me from them. This year it seems, my holiday will be very sadly spent without my daughter and my grands.
So, this is my Friday Five. I am feeling sad, angry, and a bit forlorn. This will be one year I hope I can forget very soon!
Fourteen years ago, in the early morning hours, Greta went into labor. I was so excited to welcome her first litter of puppies, and I sat with her as she began the long journey to motherhood.
A few hours later, Arnie, Anneliese, and three of their sisters made their debut.
This was the start of something neither Jack nor I had ever experienced. Having two pups, brother and sister, from the moment of their birth, for their entire life.
It’s pretty amazing. Watching these two grow and emerge as two sweet, yet very different pups.
It’s Magic!
We knew we were keeping Anneliese. I loved the look of her and felt that she would carry on the Dackel Princess line, in her time. She had a great nose (scent wise), and such personality and spunk!
Arnie, who is so sweet, loving, and laid back. Here he is at a month old. A handsome boy then and now.
Arnie was actually sold to a woman from New York State. On the day she was due to pick him up, she called and canceled as her life was falling apart. She explained it all to me on the phone. I listened and gently told her she needed this dog. But she said no.
Arnie was 12 weeks old and I was really crazy about him. So was Jack and so was our young neighbor Emily. He was due to leave on that Saturday and by Monday morning we knew that Arnie was staying with us.
Here they are the first year of their life together. Anneliese and Arnie. Best friends always.
Below is a short montage of their life together, with us. I feel so blessed to have had these two pups in my life every single day of their life. In many ways, although Greta was their biological Mom, I have been their forever Mom all these years. And now that Greta has passed away, her children help me to not miss her too much.
They both are one of my life’s greatest blessings. The years of faithful love and companionship are truly priceless.
Now that they are fourteen, I know their time on this earth is slowly coming to an end. But I think, this phrase sums it up pretty well.
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
I started my Monday by attempting to sleep in just a little bit! But between Lili and Anneliese, I was up at 6:30.
Long ago when I was a teenager and lived with my grandparents, I often slept until nearly noon. My grandmother would only laugh at me and she said, “One day, when you are older, you will not be able to sleep in. Life has a way of tossing responsibilities at you!” And she laughed. “You will see!”
And of course, I did. It started with children and now, at the ripe old age of 62, it is my dogs.
They’re wonderful though. I wouldn’t trade any of them in, despite the early morning call of the wild! For they give far more to me than I could ever give to them. So what’s an early morning?
I was thinking today about the two dackels. Thursday is their 14th birthday. How did that happen?
They’ve been such a big part of my life for so long. I’m not sure who needs who at this point in time. I still think I need them more!
Anneliese in the green collar and Arnie in the blue. Best friends and siblings all these years!
Well, I’m just waiting for the Direct TV repairman to arrive. I am not sure what he can do in the dark of night! Oh well.
Sunday morning dawned cold, icy, and slightly white. We did not have much snow, but we sure had a fair bit of black ice on our driveway. It was not a problem, as our plowman came and sanded the drive for us. I like Shawn.
As I sat down to drink my coffee, I recalled something that Brad once said to me. “If you are having a problem type into your search engine exactly what is wrong and chances are someone in the world will have had that problem.”
So, I did. I typed in the error message I kept getting when attempting to install Adobe Photoshop Elements, and sure enough it told me exactly how to fix it!
After that, I had a clean installation of the program! I wanted to jump up and down, but I restrained myself, so as not to wake the dead!
I admit that I was actually able to relax a little and the feeling of accomplishment made my Sunday a nice one.
My little Christmas tree is up, and I got out a few more decorations. This week I think I will take note of all the presents I have and do some wrapping.
Christmas is coming quickly and I know I am close to being prepared. I so want to enjoy Christmas this year. So many difficult things have happened to me, and I just want one perfect day.
What are your plans? Family? Friends? Or are you staying in and away from all you love?
I must tell you after a few days of trying to get my computer to talk to my wireless printer, I decided to see if my computer needed any driver updates. Of course, it did, and after downloading and installing four updates, my computer connected to the printer, and all is well!
I have one person to thank for all of this. The gentleman’s name is Brad. He taught me about computers every time he came to fix mine. He encouraged me to work on my machines myself. And to follow hunches that I had, because they were pretty accurate.
Brad believed in me when I did not believe in myself. He has been a real friend to me all of these years and I say Thank You to him on this day.
I still have one program I have not been able to download onto the laptop, but I know eventually I will. I am not giving up!
Here we are, people. The first Friday of the last month of 2020. The weather is cold here, and the forecasters are all excited because the first winter storm “might” come this weekend! Ah, well. Here we go. My Friday Five for December 4th.
I’d been working on a very important letter to my Insurance Company and I was all set to print it out on Wednesday when my connection to our Network Printer went Kaflooey!
I attempted a simple fix or two, but then my laptop just crashed. I wasn’t too upset because I know how to reset the machine, which I started Wednesday night.
By Thursday morning I still was frustrated by the darn thing, and by about 11:00 I decided to reload the machine, and if I cannot figure out how to get this blasted machine onto the wireless printing, I’ll eventually call someone for help. But for now, just being able to use my laptop again is a good thing.
My Ancestry.com Results are in. Call me surprised.
Ethnicity Estimate:
England & Northwestern Europe 49%
Scotland 35%
Germanic Europe 10%
Norway 4%
Wales 2%
Now I expected the English and German, but what threw me was how much of a Scottish Heritage I had. Jack insists that it is years of living with him. Ha! Norway and Wales also surprised me. It also told me that my sister was 100% my sister. My daughter was 100% my daughter and my Grandaughter was 100% my granddaughter. Now I am no expert on DNA, but this was fun!
5. Is anyone else doing their Christmas shopping online? It seems every day I get another delivery or four and right now I am nearly done with my shopping! Yay! I may just decide to decorate this house!
So that is what I’ve been doing and thinking about this week. Crazy, and wild, with Covid-19 spreading like wild-fire in my State, but somehow I am staying oddly calm.
Sometimes there are no words. Words that will bring comfort, and aid in the healing of a situation that one simply cannot fathom.
I remember when Katie passed away, people tried so hard to offer comforting words. Unfortunately, the most often used phrase was: “Oh, if that ever happened to me, I would not want to live!”
Well, you do not have much choice there, so somehow you wake up and get dressed and another day goes on. You with a broken heart, but very much alive.
The next phrase used was “Oh, I know just how you feel.” Ah, no. Not if you haven’t lost a child. For that is an area that I would not wish on anyone.
Well, my young friend’s six-month-old niece has passed away. She was a beautiful, happy, healthy baby, with the sweetest smile.
I feel like using the F-bomb here to express myself because I do know how the baby’s parents are feeling, and thus her Aunt. And my heart is breaking for them all.
My friend has two young children. This will be their first experience with losing a contemporary. They loved their baby cousin and the pictures of them holding her are now priceless.
Today I am praying for the entire family. I know they will make it because somehow you do, but I know that forever, in their hearts, there will be a piece missing.
Well folks, here we are Monday morning and the last day in the month of November. Where has the year gone? As I close out the weekend and the month, I think how much life has changed over the course of the last year.
Still, despite all the social distancing and no physical contact with people, I am alive and well. I guess that is saying something.
I admit to being a warm loving hugger. Oh, how I thrive with a warm embrace. Someday, one day, I will have that again.
I was able to get four loads of laundry done and actually make turkey soup. In spite of that, I find that as I sit here on Sunday night I have no desire to eat turkey tonight. In fact, I am just not very hungry at all.
I started the Christmas card. Somehow I forgot how arthritic my hands are. But I am determined to send them out.
Aside from that, it was another quiet weekend/month. Enjoy your Monday morning!
And this is so true. In fact, Some days I almost don’t know who that woman was, the one who was so lost and confused.
I’m so grateful, really. I have learned so much along the way, and despite the year from hell, also known as the Covid Pandemic, I’ve somehow made it without totally losing my mind.
