I am so tired. I keep saying that over and over again. I’m not doing anything. I just sit here in my recliner with my feet up and my head back, closing my eyes and sort of drifting in and out.
I didn’t expect to feel so totally exhausted. Usually, in the past, with the other eye surgeries, I have felt pain, but not so wrecked. In many ways this is a good thing. It keeps me down and keeps me quiet.
I’m still having double vision. That’s a real trip. When I really want to watch something on the TV I will use the patch to cover my eye so I can see just one image. When I have had to do stairs I have Hubby help me, and walking around I tend to hold onto him too.
My eye is sort of swollen now, and I imagine it will start to turn black and blue soon. The white of the eye is no longer white as it is full of stitches. Talk about bloodshot! I could be a great “before” picture for a Visine ad!.
Well, back to R & R
So, when everything in the world is going wrong, and you are feeling down who is there for you? When you are sick and laid up in bed and can’t move much who never leaves your side?
Last week I had to stay in bed, flat on my back for two days prior to my surgery. I can’t tell you how boring that is. Lying there, staring at the ceiling, with very little to do, except maybe worry about the upcoming surgery.
My two girls, Shubi, on the top and Greta on the bottom of the picture, hardly left my side. They were there keeping me company, making me feel loved and keeping me entertained.
Now I am in the recovery mode, they are still by my side. Nursing me back to health!
I went in for my post-op check this morning. You know how you tell your doctor things and they sort of believe you, but sort of think maybe you are being a little dramatic or something?
Well, this debris has been a real pain. It’s been driving me crazy and I have tried to tell my doctor how bad it is, and what it is like. There have been times I have thought that maybe my doctor felt I was a Drama Queen. However, yesterday, he finally saw what I have been living with.
Two days flat on my back caused all the debris to float out and into the back of the eye. When the doctor got in there yesterday He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He says he has never seen anything like this before.
He tried a new procedure to remove it. First he went after the large pieces of debris. Then let things settle for a few minutes. Then he went back and removed more debris. Then he waited again. After the third removal, he did the flushing of the internal part of the eye.
He hopes that this is going to take care of the problem. It’s too soon to tell, but he says that if it doesn’t solve the problem there could be another surgery. He says he has never seen anything like this before. He went to his journals and couldn’t find anything written about this. I felt pretty good because he finally realized what I have been trying to tell him. I teased him that he could write a paper about all of this for a medical journal and we could be famous!
So now I have to lie around and take it easy and let my eye heal. Because I’ve had a detached retina in that eye, I must be very careful over the next 10-14 days that I’m not bouncing around or doing anything that might cause the retina to detach once again. I have a little double vision as well, but I am not too worried about that. I also had that after the last surgery. I go back in a week for another post-op exam..
The biggest bummer right now is that I can’t see well enough to read. All I really want to do is lie here in the recliner with Shubi and Greta, and close my eyes.
One must ask if things are actually as funny as you think they are, when you are under the influence of drugs? I was simply cracking myself up in the pre-op area while I waited to go in for eye surgery this morning.
The nurse was asking Hubby if he had the “security code” for me. After all, she told Hubby, they won’t tell you a thing without that code.
“Weird”, I said, “He married me for better or worse, in sickness and in health, but without that security code, he might as well be a stranger!”
“How much medication do you want for this procedure?” asked the Anesthesiologist.
“How much do you have?” I chirped, “I’d rather not remember anything”
Good news, I didn’t!
“Have you had any surgery before?” asked the young unknowing nurses aide.
Glancing at my file that is now 5 inches thick, I replied, “Oh, once or twice.”
The nurse and the nurse anesthetist came in to take me to the operating room.
“When was the last time you went to the bathroom?” asked the nurse.
“A few minutes ago.” I answered.
“Well, I think you should go again. Just to be sure.” she says.
“Yes, Mom.” I answered and we all cracked up.
We brought the pups with us because we knew they would need to be walked during our time away from home. It was a cool 50 degrees here, so they were fine in the car.. While I was in surgery, Hubby went out to walk the dogs. He got Greta and Fritz on their leads and just put Shubi down as she will stay with him and doesn’t wander off. Well, this little Mama’s girl had watched me go into the big bad hospital and she was going in to rescue me! Off she ran toward the door! A nice gentleman saw her and grabbed her and returned her to a startled Hubby.
Later when I came out to the car I must tell you Shubi was one happy girl. She snuggled up in my lap and just stayed there the entire (1 1/2 hour) trip home.
The surgery seemed to go well, and started on time at 7:30 this morning. I was kept in lala land for the entire event and I don’t remember much except a brief time I felt a little pain and they immediately gave me more anesthesia and I drifted back off.
My eye is patched and I am in my dachshund jammies resting in my recliner. When I wake up a little more I will write about some of the strange things that happened,
But for now, I’m home and sitting up! Hooray!!
Just got the call. My surgery is set for 7:30 AM. I am the first patient of the day. So, the doctor will be nice and fresh. I hope to be home by mid afternoon.
Did anyone ever mention how totally boring it is to lie completely flat? I tried to read, but that didn’t work because the book has to be held up and over the head and it gets pretty heavy. So listening to TV has been my boredom breaker.
I’ve also had two great nurses. Shubi and Greta just don’t leave my side. They are on he bed with me all the time cuddled close and making me feel cared for.
Hubby has been great. He made me the best salad yesterday for lunch and then did dinner as well. He is being great. He just brought me in a cup of coffee and I can’t tell you how much I love him!
I find out later today what time I’ll be operated on. They call you with the time at 3 o’clock. If I have a chance I’ll update this then.
Apparently, we had one heck of a storm go through last night, and it left our cable company barely functioning. We have some service, but it is fuzzy and you can barely see the people on the screen. And of course we have no Internet service. I don’t usually have much good to say about dial-up service, but it is a great back up!
After breakfast I’ll be heading to bed. I’ve got two new books to read, “Vanishing Acts” by Jodi Picoult and “Eden Close” by Anita Shreve. I imagine I will have lots of company in bed, while lying flat. Shubi is a real cuddly girl. Have nap, will find Shubi by your side! I think Greta and Fritz will be in and out, as they’re both puppies and on the move most of the time.
Yesterday I decided to have some comfort food. I drove down to the Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream stand and got myself my favorite. A waffle cone with Cherry Garcia ice cream! Mmmmmmm! I was talking to the girl working there, and she had an accent. I wasn’t sure, Australian or South African? She was South African. Here on a worker’s program. She’d been here since last fall. It turns out she worked at the ski area I always ski at, Waterville Valley, last winter, and she was the girl my husband and I joked with all winter long! People look so different when they aren’t wearing their heavy winter clothes and hats!
Have any of you watched “Two and a Half Men”? I’ve never really watched it until rerun season started, but what a funny show. I mean it makes me absolutely howl with laughter! I’m going to have to add that to my favorite’s list if they keep up with the funny shows.
Kathleen Alynne Hayden
November 1978 – June 1985
This bright, beautiful little girl came into my life at the stroke of 5:29 AM on November the 8th of 1978. She was a happy child with apple cheeks and bright red curls and green eyes. She loved yogurt, the Smurfs and her toy Gizmo and playing Barbie dolls with her sister. She loved animals and people and nature.
Katie was a great kid. One that you enjoyed being with just because she enjoyed being with you. The last time we spoke to each other, the last words she said to me were, “I love you so much Mommy!” and I smiled and told her, “I love you too, Katie”.
And then she was gone.
On June 13th 1985 an impaired (stoned) man driving a 5 ton truck blew a stop light and ran over our car. In 11 seconds it was all over, and in 11 seconds, our lives changed forever.
It’s hard to believe that 20 years have passed. It seems like just the other day that she was with me. Some days I can still hear her voice and the memory of her touch is so clear. And other days it’s like a dream. A wonderful dream that turned into a nightmare.
So today, I honor my child.
I will always love you. I will always miss you. You will be, forever, in my heart.
My family will tell you that I live like a recluse. I like things quiet, I enjoy not seeing or hearing the activity of my neighbors or the traffic noises from the street. Peace. Since I know this about myself and have set about living my life this way, I don’t see any reason to apologize, although I do get teased often when I complain about noise. My brother in-law teases me the most. “Noise?” he asks, “What noise?”
Of course this week is Motorcycle Week. With over 400,000 biker’s expected to visit the state in the next few days, the low growling hum of Harley’s (and assorted other bikes) is all you can hear when you are outside.
I wonder how they do that? I mean, most BIG trucks don’t make that much noise, but somehow the Harley’s do. I can see we will have an entire generation with hearing aids from all the unmuffled noise from their motorcycles!
Oh well, only eight days to go!