Good-bye Dad

Today I will say my final good-bye to my Dad. I am going to give this very personal Eulogy at the service.

I told myself that I wasn’t going to get up here and speak to you today. I wasn’t sure I could do this, but then I started to think of things that you all needed to know about my father, and so, while I was driving home the other day, I started to compose this in my mind.

 

My Dad loved music and he loved the theater. In fact he met Mom when she danced and he played the piano. He told me once he fell in love with her the day he saw her in a bright red sweater. They were 13 and 14 when they met and have been together ever since.

 

They married in 1948, and were married for over sixty years.

 

My brother Richard was their first born. Then came Melodie and last, but not least, yours truly.

 

I remember listening to Dad play the piano when I was a child. I thought he was the best thing in the whole entire world. When I was about 4 years old I told my friend, Tracy, that my Daddy played the piano better than Liberace. I was always so proud that he could sit down and make a piano or an organ come to life!

 

Every year Dad planned a trip to Ferring Pond and every year we got lost. One year we brought a can of spray paint so we could find our way out, I can’t remember if we still got lost on our way out, but the next year we got lost on our way in. Wish we had had a good GPS then. Mostly we stayed close to home at Goodwill Park, where we could barbecue and swim in the lake.

 

Dad also insisted that he make Strawberry pancakes at least once a year. We all loved them and no one was ever late for breakfast when they smelled them cooking. I still hold the record for most pancakes eaten at one sitting (24) but then, I was pregnant with Amanda and eating for two.

 

The family went to several places to dine and they became pretty special. Howard Johnsons had the best fish fry on Fridays and we always had Mrs. L. for our waitress. We also loved Dairy Queen, and a Chinese restaurant on Main Street, called “The House of Wong”. We’d all sit around the table talking about our week munching egg rolls and pork strips and drinking tea.

 

He received the Man of Year award from the State of Massachusetts, for bringing music into the town of Falmouth, and he was The Falmouth Theatre Guild’s first musical director. Dad also organized a community Carole Sing each December on the Falmouth Green. We’d stand out in the cold snow, among the Christmas displays and lights and sing caroles. What a wonderful memory that is for me.

 

When I was 4, Mel was 9 and Dickie was 11 we all were in “The King and I”. Dad did the music for it, and Mom did the make-up.

 

A few years later the Theater Guild did The Sound of Music, and Mel, Mom and I were in the cast and once again, Dad did the music.

 

Music was part of life in our family.

 

Every day I was in middle school and High School Dad got up and made me breakfast. He made lunches too. His masterpiece was the American cheese sandwich! Eventually, I learned to make my own sandwich, simply because I didn’t think I could eat another Cheese Sandwich! Now I eat them for comfort.

 

After listening to me grumble and growl about going to school, he drove me over and delivered me to school. Oh to have your own father as a teacher! Groan! But when the chips were down, Dad was, just down the hall.

 

My Dad was a really great teacher. More days than I can tell you, he arrived home to our house feeling tired but he made a real difference to the students he taught.

 

Charles T. wrote to me and said:

 

“In my not-very-happy memories of Falmouth public schools, Mr. S. was one of the few teachers to whose classes we could actually look forward. I often wonder how he could maintain his indefatigable good spirits. Thanks for those precious moments of sanity in a hostile world.”

 

In middle school he directed Gilbert and Sullivan plays for the 6^th, 7^th and 8^th graders. Now think about it. Most kids that age thought this was so un-cool, and yet, these same kids were the ones trying out to be cast in these same plays. The music and the costumes brought so much happiness to the kids.

 

Thom R. wrote:

“Maribeth,
I love your father to this day for the self esteem he helped me build. In the 7th grade his chorus class put on the musical The Mikado. When it came to the lead (the Mikado himself) I thought that I would have no chance… My memory of this goes … I didn’t even raise my hand when the question was asked “who wants to play the Mikado?” But somehow he picked ME!! To this day I still sing those songs with glee. Mr. S., I want to personally thank you for helping me to become the person that I am today…” “From every kind of man obedience I expect… I’m the emperor of Japan and I’m his daughter in law elect!!!”
Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! God bless you and keep you. I will always remember The Mikado… and the very kind man who gave me the lead.
With warmest memories,
Thomas R.”

 

David E. wrote:

“the tie…the glasses…the black suit…and that funny walk…the determination and commitment… remember when we were in 7th/8th grade and he turned the study hall into square dancing with Mr. D. with the two fingers missing from being in the coast guard in the 2nd world war…all because Mister S.couldn’t stand to see all that kid potential going to being bored in a windowless auditorium…for an hour…and that turned into a elective class and got square dancing in the schools…yeah, the Mister S. we all knew was an old softy…a kind hearted grown-up with a mission of music and kids…kids and music…at every opportunity…what a gift to the world…an inspiration…how one person can make such a huge impact on the life of a town…and though not many rock stars came out of the crop…look how much richer we all are because we had to spend all that time with…Mr. S….the old softy…Mr. Compassion…not a bad role model…I’d give him an A… but then I may have become an old softy too…
wonder where I learned that…”

 

Another one of Dad’s students wrote me and said:

 

“Wow, Maribeth.
I don’t know what to say – so here it is, from the heart.

Dear Mr. Jim S.,
You are one of the kindest, gentlest and most caring souls I have ever had the pleasure to know.
You always had a smile – even on those not so good days.

I may not have been a “memorable” drummer back in the intermediate school, but you made a big impression on me.
Your fervor and enthusiasm for music transformed me from a passive “I’ll play the drums to make noise” music student into some one who felt your passion and became a percussionist!
You injected me with such a passion for music that I continued throughout the rest of my school years in Falmouth as a percussionist. (Orchestra, band and marching band)

I continued to play throughout my 20’s , jamming with friends on Martha’s Vineyard.
And every time I pick up a set of drum sticks I think of you.
I still play today – although now it’s the Air-Drums.
Throughout you career your passion inspired many music enthusiasts.
I will cherish forever my memories of you as my music mentor.
My life has been enriched by having you a part of it.

Peace unto you my friend.

–Mike N.

 

Likewise, in music class we all went through a “square dance” series, where even the toughest of toughs was forced to square dance. I can’t begin to tell you about the laughter and the fun that we all had. I heard from one woman who mentioned that Dad had them square dance to the song “Wipe-Out”.

 

Dad was also involved in helping the troubled kids in the school. You remember them. They were the ones who wore leather jackets, and smoked cigarettes, got into fights, and had their names announced over the intercom for detention.

 

Dad worked with these kids, talking to them, explaining the world to them, and getting them to realize how much the world had to offer. I went back to a reunion a few years ago, and several of those same people, told me how much Dad had helped them.

 

Dad also played the organ for the Congregational Church in Falmouth and then The Catholic Church in West Falmouth. He conducted choirs, and taught a bunch of young kids to play hand bells. He played the organ for weddings as many couples began their lives, and played the funerals as well, when those in our community passed away.

 

If any one needed an organist, they called Dad. Whether it was for Rainbow Girls, Eastern Star, or the Mason’s, Dad and his music were always there.

 

Dad loved the Lord. He prayed hard and he passed that faith and his love of Christian music onto Melodie and me. I hope, more than anything, he will be surrounded by the music he loved so much in this world, when he reaches Heaven.

 

I like to imagine my Dad reunited with my brother Richard, my daughter Katie and my cousin Carl. As well as Aunt George, Uncle Betty, Uncle Bob and Aunt Cynnie. And of course our grandparents. All of them.

 

I thank you all for coming and I want to leave you with this reading from Matthew 25: verse 23

The lord said unto him, well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will set thee over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.