I’ve been part of a couple for a very long time. Even before Jack (35 years!) I was married for 11 years to my former husband. Quite honestly, before that, I lived at home as a teenager. So, I never really had a solo identity. Now, I am suddenly with no other halves or close family. (All at a distance)
The other day, I was walking around the grocery store and didn’t see anyone I knew. I walked around, and part of me felt invisible.
During the last few years of Jack’s illness, I did not go out much. I was on-call 24/7 as his nurse and wife. The last six months especially.
There is no right or wrong here. Jack needed the care, and he wanted to be home. Long ago, I had promised that, if possible, I would keep him at home. I did it. Despite how difficult it was in the end, I feel good that it was one promise I could keep.
So, I am trying to get the improvements made on the house and slowly make it my own.
The important thing is to keep moving and keep living. Make a new life for myself.
I know there is a place for me in this crazy, mixed-up world. I need to find it.