Greta, Beauty & Sex & The Single Dachshund

Next Saturday, September 23rd Greta goes before a German judge to receive her rating in beauty and form. I’m not too nervous about her beauty or form, as she is really exceptional, (in my humble opinion). What I’m nervous about is me. I’m the one showing her in front of all the other exhibitors and the judge.

Aug 31 003

You won’t believe me when I say this, but, I am shy. Most people don’t understand this. You see there are different kinds of shy. There are people who flush deeply when spoken to and find it impossible to speak. There are other’s who are reclusive and don’t go out in public. And then there are people like me.

I can be out in the world and speak to total strangers and I’m okay. It’s when I am in a crowd or I feel people are looking at me, (for whatever reason) that I become an emotional basket case. I worry that they will think I am fat or silly or clumsy, (I know I am and that makes it worse!). I feel sort of sick to my stomach and I often stammer. I’m much better talking to a sales person in the grocery store than I am getting up in front of a crowd.

So I have to do this. I’ve purchased a new pair of pants, a new bra, (a push me up and in type), a new shirt and I’ve been working on teaching Greta what a bribe is, in the hopes she will do just what I say. You know, “Will Work For Food”! Just another week and a half and it will be all over.

Greta will go into heat about that time and then we schedule her “night of passion” with Bernie.

When your dog’s sex life gets you this excited, something is very wrong. I lead such a little life.

8 thoughts on “Greta, Beauty & Sex & The Single Dachshund”

  1. BWAHHAHHAAAAA

    Great post title, funny girl.

    They have no idea what a wonderful person you are.
    Pretend they do. Pretend you do.

    Love ya gal…you’ll do fab.
    ♥Pam

  2. Oooo my – I loved your note…and the comments so far. Pam’s advice is great, and I certainly ‘second’ it.

    luv,
    linda

  3. You know, when you told me that you thought you and I were more alike than either of us realized? This shyness thing of yours just proves it. I am *exactly* like that too!!! (Which explains why I’m a nervous wreck about standing up infront of a bunch of people to say my vows. egads)

    Does she only get one night of passion? I thought you had the stud for a few days, just to make sure? Or does that depend on the agreement with the stud owner? Hopefully she’ll be “in the mood” and not playing hard to get!!

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