Loss

I have very mixed feelings today. So much has been going on since I got home, and sometimes I’m not sure if I should be happy/sad/or somewhere in between. I guess somewhere in the middle is just about right. But it leaves me feeling out of sorts. Here’s what been happening here in New Hampshire.

In the last couple of weeks, I have lost two friends. One I had not seen in a while but remembered fondly, and the other one, lived just up the hill, and she passed away from breast cancer.

My friend was such a lovely lady. She made me laugh and smile and was so gracious. Being her friend was a pleasure. I will really miss her. Her service was beautiful, and once again I was crying.

I do believe in Heaven. A place beyond this, where we are reunited with our loved ones. But these partings on earth, I find really difficult to bear. It brings back many of my own heartbreaking losses and I find I start to feel down and sad all over again.

I try to snap out of it, to pick myself up, but that is also hard. I guess I need to do what has worked in the past. Step back, catch my breath and then tomorrow, when I wake up, I will put one foot in front of the other and go on.

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We still have no hot water. Which is a drag. I’ve been heating up water to use for washing, but I am missing showers like you would not believe. I can do dishes in my dishwasher because of the heating water cycle, but I cannot take a shower. I did try. But taking an ice cold shower is like being stabbed by a thousand icy knives! Eeeeek!

A Heating/Plumbing Specialist will be coming on Monday morning. It will be a big job and will be very expensive. VERY expensive. Why couldn’t it have just been a blasted hot water tank?

Oh well, after twenty years I would guess that some things just plain wear out.