What a strange day. I woke up this morning with the mother of all hot flashes. I’m telling you, it soaked me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet! Then I got chills. Really strange stuff here. Three hours later, my pup Greta goes into heat. Talk about a weird coincidence!
I had planned to breed Greta at this heat, but with Shubi’s illness and Hubby’s operation I decided to put it off until next fall. In many ways it’s a good thing. I can take a little more time and find just the right mate for her.
Feeling the need for some warm comfort food, I started a pot of split pea soup last night. The peas cooked all night long in the crock pot, and then this morning I was able to blend them and add the carrots and potatoes. When I feel down or blue, warm creamy soups make me feel better. The recipe is below.
MB’s Split Pea Soup
1 lb. dried split peas, yellow or green
1/2 c. chopped onion
2 stalks celery with leaves, chopped
2 cups diced ham
2 cloves garlic, crushed
2 quarts. water
1 ham bone or sm. smoked ham hock
1 bay leaf, crushed
2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
Sprinkle of crushed cloves
2 large potatoes diced
3 carrots diced
Croutons, optional
Cover peas with water add onion and celery and soak overnight in cock pot on low heat. In the morning put peas, celery and onion through blender and puree.
Add to pan the pureed pea mixture and remaining ingredients. Simmer slowly 4-6 hours or until vegetables are tender. Add croutons if desired.
Getting Back
Monday it was back to life. At least a little bit. I tried to stay productive. I did laundry, and I tried to clean up the kitchen, although looking at it now, I don’t think I did a very good job. Often I would walk into a room intent on doing something, only to find I had forgotten what it was.
I showered and dressed, and discovered my first pimple in about three years. Bright red and on my chin! You simply have to love what emotions will do to you! Ha!
I went in for my yearly mammogram, and I think I had the only technician who is literally far too fussy when it comes to how you are dressed. I used to be given one of those silly hospital gowns to wear for the exam. Sleeves, and two little ties for modesty. Not so today. This technician insists you wear this mini cape thing that hardly covers anything, and with one good gust of wind, all mystery would definitely be lost. I was glad when it was over and I could escape, and get back into all my clothes!
When I came home Fritz was in the yard, which is fairly usual. He just wanted me to let him back in the house. When I came up the stairs and opened the door…nothing. Greta was asleep, and well, Shubi wasn’t there to greet me. Right up to the end, Shubi would race to the door to greet me when I came in. It was always a big deal, whether I’d been gone 2 hours or 5 minutes. How often she met me, and made me feel so tremendously adored.
I found the negative for the sunset picture of Shubi and me, that Hubby took. I plan to bring it in and have an 8X10 print made up. That was back in the days of owning only a 35 mm camera.
I also spent a little time looking through photograph albums of the past. I saw Shubi as a puppy, as she grew and as she played. So many of those pictures made me smile. She was such a happy part of my life.
The Basics
I was productive. I made a shopping list, and then went with Greta and Fritz and Hubby to the grocery store. Upon arrival I determined I had left the list at home. That’s okay, I decided, because I am so out of it, that just getting to the store was an accomplishment.
I went slowly through the store selecting the things I needed and desperately trying to remember what I’d written down on my list. I was grateful that Hubby didn’t ask to see the list. I think he might have realized I left it at home.
We got some great produce, which pleased me, and even got a nice Swordfish steak for dinner that was on sale.
We arrived home and I lugged all the bags up the stairs and got it all put away. I made lunch, and then somehow lost the afternoon. Don’t ask me what I did, was it TV, or the computer? I am not sure, it just seemed that the next thing I knew it was time to make dinner.
I had a few people call on the phone about Shubi. I did okay with most of them (meaning I didn’t sob uncontrollably), but a few times I just lost it and could hardly swallow.
She was greatly loved.
(Shubi and me at sunset)
Another Day Dawns
The sun rose and another day began, life goes on.
It’s amazing, isn’t it? When you feel so much grief, and so much sadness and you wonder how you will go on with out your best friend, another day dawns and time passes.
I lay in bed last night and didn’t sleep too much. I was thinking of the tremendous fight Shubi fought with her illnesses. She never gave up. In her short life, there were so many little miracles, and I thought, I hoped, she would find just one more.
The bed felt big and empty. Greta got in and immediately she began searching for Shubi. She sniffed and sniffed and sniffed all the places Shubi usually slept. She pawed at them, before coming back over to me and settling in between my knees.
It’s somehow shocking how big a hole such a small dog can leave.
FOUR FEET
I have done mostly what men do,
And pushed it out of my mind;
But I can’t forget, if I wanted to,
Four-Feet trotting behind.
Day after day, the whole day through–
Wherever my road inclined–
Four-Feet said, ‘I am coming with you!’
And trotted along behind.
Now I must go by some other round–
Which I shall never find–
Some where that does not carry the sound
Of Four-Feet trotting behind.
— Rudyard Kipling —
My Girl
December 1, 1995-February 18, 2006
Where do you find the words to say
all that you feel inside?
my friend, my girl has left me
and that I can’t abide
her furry face and big brown eyes
and love filled heart and soul
the magic that was in her
I will carry ’til I’m old
She touched our lives in many ways
teaching us to love and soar
she gave to us all that she had to give
never asking for any more
but now my girl has left me
and I’m crying all alone
she’s gone to better places
but I shall miss her so
Updated New Hampshire News
Shortly after noon the winds began to blow and the rain poured down. The violence of the storm was incredible. It wasn’t long before we heard a loud bang and the lights went out.
We waited a moment and then started calling the electric company. After hitting the redial button a gazillion times, I finally got through and gave the information.
It’s now 4:45 and guess what? No power. The woman I spoke with apparently never typed in the location I gave her, because Hubby tracked down an electric truck and they knew nothing about our outage. Hubby also located the pole with the blown breaker. So we got the pole number and called back. Hopefully they’ll get it this time.
Meanwhile, we are using our generator. Something we don’t often use because our lights never go out! Hubby had to really talk fast to convince me to get one a couple of years ago. Today I think he is a genious! With the generator we can, watch TV, cook meals, heat water for tea and yes, use the computer!
(later)
It’s 12:30 AM. We finally got our power back.
Shubi was very ill today. She is failing fast. I’ll be calling the Vet first thing in the morning. Our hearts are breaking. Please say a little prayer.
A Nice Day
Yesterday we decided to take the pups for a nice ride. More than almost anything in the world, Shubi loves to go for rides in the car. So, after we gave her the subcutaneous fluids, we packed up the car and headed out to see our friend Jon. He recently bought a new home and he was anxious for us to see it.
We rode along with Greta on one knee and Shubi cuddled up on my other. She used to sit up and watch the world go by. Yesterday, she just wanted to cuddle and sleep.
We arrived at our friends home and the girls came in and checked out the house. Shubi was quite animated, especially when she found a deer skin!! Suddenly she remembered that she was a dachshund, a hunter and she barked quite a bit at it!
After that she just wanted to be held, and that was just fine with me. Several hours holding my girl was just what I needed.
We stopped at the grocery store so I could pick up some baby food meats for her to eat. She would have none of that, but when we got home and I cut up some cooked steak into tiny little pieces, she ate that up with delight. I wasn’t feeling too good about it all though. She’s eaten in the past and then vomited all night. However, last night, I brought her in to bed with her little blanket, and she slept all night long! No vomiting at all!!!
I’m not kidding myself. I know how sick she is and how everything could change in a heartbeat, but for last night and today, she is doing okay. That makes me happy.
Now if this could last just a little longer, I would be a very happy lady.
Thursday Thoughts
Many years ago, Hubby took me to Starnberg, Germany. This is just south of Munich, in Bavaria. He wanted to introduce me to his friends, Lucie and Otto. I was a new bride and nervous about meeting his longtime friends. As I sat in their living room in bounded a small vivacious pup named Shubi. Shubi was a Rauhhaardackel (or wire-haired dachshund in English). Shubi understood no English and I spoke no German, but it didn’t matter, it was love at first sight!
Shubi climbed into my lap and we cuddled and kissed and for the next week wherever I went, I was followed by this love struck little man. When we parted I cried and all I would say to Hubby is, “I want a little Shubi dog!”
We made four more trips to Munich over the next four years and each time it was always the same. Shubi would instantly become my little love and follow me everywhere.
Sadly, we received a letter in Christmas 1995 telling us that Otto had become sick with cancer and that Shubi had escaped from their yard and been hit by a car. We were devastated.
In February 1996 we went to see Lucie and Otto again. The house was oddly still with no little man running about. It just wasn’t the same home it had been when Shubi was alive. I said to Lucie one day at lunch, that we should find puppies and have them together.
Otto overheard us and while Lucie and I went out shopping, he found an ad for Rauhhaardackel Puppies that were in Landshut, which was about 35 km east of Munich.
The next day we drove out and as we entered the kitchen of The Lanzingers, there in a small basket on the floor were three small puppies.
I went over and peered into a little face. The pup stood and tried to jump up to me. I picked her up and that was it. She looked me over, decided that I would do and after kissing my face clean, settled into my arms and snuggled.
As we traveled back to Starnberg, I was trying to think of a good name for my puppy. Hubby had been oddly silent finally said, “All I have heard for eight years is: ‘I want a Shubi dog! ‘ The dogs name is Shubi!”
And thus Shubi was named and she then adopted us and we became her responsibility in life. Her brother was named Toni.
I worried that bringing a puppy back with us would be difficult, but it wasn’t at all. She was three months old, had had all her shots and once we purchased a doggie passport and bought her a ticket we were all set. Shubi road in Business Class from Munich to New York. She was wonderful on the plane, and once we cleared customs Hubby rushed her outside and she did what all dogs do after a long trip.
We took Shubi back several times to Germany to visit her brother. The two would always act like they had not been separated for very long, and would play and play. Shubi would also remember the pathway to our room at our friends home.
Looking back now, these last ten years have been some of the happiest of my life.
Shubi
***Update***
I had Shubi in to the Vet’s and they repeated her blood work. The uremia is a bit better, showing that giving her the subcutaneous fluids is helping, but her liver is showing signs of stress and she is also becoming anemic. So the news is good and bad.
I had a heart to heart with both of the Vets about Shubi’s condition. Jack and I have talked and we need to decide what to do next.
Here I sit. It’s 12:45 AM and Shubi has been vomiting for about 45 minutes. We were in bed when it started so I’ve already changed my sheets, but the blanket is totaled for tonight.
I’m sitting here because she doesn’t seem ready to sleep yet. She is sitting in her bed with her head up just staring into space.
I’ll have to call the Vet first thing in the morning. I can’t imagine that all this vomiting is a good thing.
It makes me so sad. I keep trying to make it better for her and yet I feel like I am failing.